:: tHe pAth of My Life ::

2008-06-10T23:39:00.002+08:00

Weekend was great. On saturday, the whole day was spent with my babez. They came over to my house. Initial plan was to visit sentosa. But it was raining heavily since morning. So we decided to just hang out at my house. We ordered pizza, played uno and watch a thai horror movie. It was sweet and simple but I enjoyed it so much especially with the lovely companion of my babez. I love you galz so much! *muakz*

Oh yes. We had mini belated birdae celebration for dilah. Dah mcm masuk meminang dilah pun ada. Coz we bought for her a ring. Its about the same like my engagement ring. Haha.

Photos will be uploaded once I have uploaded it inside my laptop. heez. I know dilah. Zari asked the wrong person to upload the pics. Hehe

Later at night, met my cousins and aunties and uncle. Since Ita already got her driving license, so she rented a car and drove us around. We went lepaking at east coast till 3.30 am! But it was fun though. It has been a long time since we did that. We sat by the beach and guess what I saw. A couple having sex lah dey. Aiyo. I think indian couple.

Sunday was spent with my family again. Ita brought us out again. And this time around, me, my dad, my grandma, my bibik, my aunties n uncle and my cousins went to Changi beach. We had dinner there. A treat from Cik Nah. We had satay, cockles, chicken rice and alot more. We had a spread.

And that sums up my great weekend.

Life has been hectic for me. Whats with work. My personal life. I almost got migraine everyday. Until yesterday, I really had a bad migraine. See a doctor and he gave me some pills for me to relax my mind. Yes. I have been thinking too much that I cried almost every nite. Until I lost focus at work. Everything seems not right.

I wish I can just run away from here. I wish to. I'm trying to be strong to move on with my life. I hope so.

I'm leaving my job soon. Partly because of some personal reasons and also to help my mum. Got a better offer. Hopefully, I could help mum to settle her debts. I cant expect mum to work so hard at her old age just to settle her debts. By right, she should be enjoying life now like other mothers. She should have grandchildren to play with.

Insyaallah, mungkin ada hikmah disebaliknya.

So gd nitez lovelies and have a great week ahead. 3 more days and TGIF!

I will always love you

2008-06-01T21:41:00.005+08:00

To U,

I will always love you.

If I should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you every step of the way

Chorus:
I will always love you
I will always love you

Bitter sweet memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So goodbye, please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you need

(Chorus)
I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you dreamed of
And I wish you joy and happiness
But above all this I wish you love

2008-05-31T17:54:00.002+08:00

Better In Time - Leona Lewis

The perfect song for me at this moment.

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is
I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

[Chorus: X2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

.
.
.
.
.
.

And to you, these past two months have been a rollercoster for us. I respect your decision. N i know its my fault. If only I could turn back time. I am really sorry for what I have done to you. But please remember, for whatever has happen, deep down in my heart, I still love you and always do. I still care for you. I am here for you if you need someone to talk to in the future. I want to see you happy. I will always pray for your happiness. For you and your family. And lastly, I will miss you always. Will always do.

2008-05-19T19:02:00.000+08:00

I will leave soon. Yes. I'm leaving. :)

2008-04-05T20:26:00.003+08:00

I really hate this kind of feeling.

All I want is just to sort things out with u. And settle things amicably. But u have been ignoring me for days. I do not like it if I am the one that has to keep calling and msging u but there isnt any reply from u. Dnt u feel irritated by my so many missed calls? If you do not want me anymore, just tell me off! And I promise I will try not to contact you again.

I knew it was my fault. I knew I shoudnt have just return those rings to u just like that. But I was totally shattered to hear those words from your sister. I couldnt take it anymore. Why must she interfere in our problem? Why cant we just settle it on our own?

I dnt like things hanging on just like this. Many people told me to ignore and not to call or msg u for the moment. But I cant! I cant take it if i didnt hear from you for a day. Yes. I admit that I cant live without u. I am not firm.

But I guess I have to adapt with it now. No matter how hurts my heart is.

But I do not want us to become enemies. Like how we got together nicely, I want it to end in a nice way.

But of course, deep in my heart, I do not want to let you go. But if letting it go solves the problem, I have no choice but to let you go.

I guess what Bibik said is true. "In life, everyone will once feel the loss of someone they truly love."

I guess I have to go through it now.

2008-04-03T11:50:00.006+08:00

I am currently heartbroken and shattered.

I have been listening to Fazli Zainal's hit song "HARAPAN".

"Doaku agar kaukan selalu bahagia,
Agar kau temui insan tulus menyayangimu,
Lepaskanlah diriku kerna keredhaanmu,
Bukan kerna dendam jua bukan kerna kau terpaksa,
Ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu,
Kuundur diri bersama harapan.
Chorus :
Tidak kesampaian cinta kita,
Kubawa harapan kupendam rahsia,
Ku dikejauhan mendoakan,
Agar kau bahgia tiada lagi duka.
Daku rela mengundur diri,
Ku pasti dikaukan fahami …
Tiada penyesalan kasihku korbankan
Andai telah tertulis kuterima ini bukannya kupinta,
Oh pergilah dikau diiringi keikhlasanku,
Cuma pengalaman mengisi kekosongan mimpiku…"

It exactly describes what I feel now.

This song had been playing repeatedly in my mp3 since last night.

I cant sleep last night, so I finished up some work I brought home from the office.

I stayed up till 1.30am listening to the song while doing my work.

I cried.

I really do not know how all this happen. I really do not want this to happen. After what had happened the previous night, my heart bleed so much. Everything was so unexpected.

No doubt for whatever had happened, deep down, I still miss him alot like hell.

But I guess there is a reason for whatever had happened.

Ya Allah, please give me strength and guidance to the right path and so that I can make a wise decision.

P.S. Aisyah, please come back quick. Aku dah rindu kau. :(

2008-03-13T14:57:00.003+08:00

I am so in love with this phone. The N95 8gb phone. So super classic. Can someone please buy this for me for my 22nd birthday present next month? ;)

Weekend was great. Met with my girlfriend and watch Step Up 2. Super gerek lah the movie. Felt like dancing along in the movie theatre. And the guy is so super cute. Hehe. After that, met my aunts, uncle and my cousins for NHG Family Day at Escape Theme Park. It was super fun. I tried the viking three times and after dat I end up vomitting. Hahaha.

I wanna go for a holiday. But I do not know where. Somewhere relaxing from these busy city.

Will update more when I am back at my own home. Got no time to update nowadays cos there is no internet connection at my aunts place.

1 more day to weekends and have a great weekend! :)

2008-03-05T19:20:00.005+08:00

Life has been pretty busy for the past few weeks. Have been running in and out from the hospital. Alhamdulilah mum is feeling much more better now. Temporarily, we stayed over at my aunt's place since mum cant climb up the stairs for the moment. Yes. We have to climb up 4 storeys to get to my home.

I love staying over at my aunt's place. I dnt feel lonely. Grandma and bibik also came over to stay there. So that bibik can look after mum when everyone else is working. I even told mum why not we just stay at aunt's place and rent out our place. Haha.

Dilah, if you are reading this, I MISS YOU SO MUCH LAH!! Hahahhaa. Please come back soon lah kudut! Hehehe. I cant deny that I miss you so ok. hahahaha. And to Aisyah, please meet up soon for our next shopping trip or some relaxing moments.

I miss my babes too. We should plan sumthing to celebrate the other two babes (Farha and Zari) belated birthday. I know its so long overdue but still we have to celebrate kan. Its like already our tradition gitu kan. And I know you two are waiting for sumthing kan. Winks to zari and farha.

And to zari and farha, thanks for coming over to visit my mum. But instead dah mcm our meet up session gitu bukan visit my mum. Hahaha. We chatted for so long till 11pm ok! The rest at home dah fall asleep but we three cant stop chatting. Oh yes please plan for our next overseas trip. Sydney or bangkok maybe? Or Redang? I cant wait to loosen up myself and get rid all my stress here. Woohoo!

Oh ya, its been a long time since I chatted up with my long time sec school fren, nur. Last week, she gave me a call and I was shocked to hear that she is pregnant with a second child! Thats gd news. Betul nye active ehk! Hhehehe.

K lah. Goin home now. Maidin is waiting for me already or he will scream at me!

K gd nitez lovelies and its two more days to weekends. I cant wait! ;)

2008-02-20T01:36:00.002+08:00

I just came back from the hospital 20 minutes ago. Mum was admitted to the hospital again. This time around it was more serious. She has to undergo an operation immediately. As at 12.45 am, the operation is still in progess. She has been in the operation theatre for almost 4 hours. I really hope everything will be ok.

My aunts and uncle told me to go home first. So my cousin drove me home. But now I cant fall asleep. I am still waiting for a call from CGH. But till now I have not received any call from them. I am still worried about mum. I really wish I could be by her side now.

When I came to work today, I already felt so down. But I do not know why. Maybe due to my work that has been piling up. And I felt something wasnt right when I left the house for work this morning. Mum complained that her stomach wasnt feeling good. I told her to go and have a rest first and not to do the housework. But I guess she is still stubborn that she continued to clean up the house and do the laundry. Mum is still mum. They just cant see the house being so messy that they will still clear the house eventhough they are already sick.

Ard 10 am, my brother called and asked if I could take half day and look after mum. I cant promise him because I was on medical leave the day before, and somemore I was supposed to be on duty for the YL match. I thought mum's condition wasnt so serious until my bro called again that mum has been vomitting and she cant even stand on her feet. That worries me so much that when I wanted to ask boss if I could take half day leave, my eyes are already so teary.

I really hate it when I cried. I tried to control myself but I cant. I guess I am born being a cry baby.

I quickly rushed home. I cabbed home and my tears started to fell down my cheecks non-stop. I am sad. Why does my mum have to go through so much? Why cant she lead a happy life? Why cant she be like other mum's? Why does she always have to suffer?

I really do not want to lose her now. I need her now. I want to give her the happiness she has been lacking of all this while. I do not want her to suffer anymore. I want to repay all her good deeds for being such a strong mother and father in my family.

I doubt so I can be like mum. She is such a strong woman. And I know she can go through this operation.

The most saddest part when Mum told my fiancee just now when he came to see my mum at home that to look after me if she is no longer in this world.

I really cant take it. I have to stop here. As I type this entry, my tears cant stop falling down my cheeks.

I am sorry to post this kind of entry. This is the only way I can let out how I feel at this moment.

2008-02-12T13:44:00.000+08:00

I am having a terrible headache since yesterday till now. My fault too because I did not take any medication last night before I went to bed. This migraine started to come by when I started talking to a fren of mine about my current problem. Or should I say my very long and never ending problem. Haiz. Dnt wish to talk about it or my head will burst sooner or later.

I really hope HE can grant me strength and patience to keep me going and alive in this world.

I am having a terrible toothache too. I am afraid if there's a wisdom tooth growing inside.

Everything is so terrible... Haiz....

There's netball training tonight. Yes. I have started playing netball again. Once a week. Organized by my company. But there is no change in me. I'm still the same. No weight loss. hehe. I brought all my stuff. But with my terrible headache now, I'm not sure if I will be going or not.

Ohh... I am so bored.. Dnt mind this boring entry of mine....

Have a good day people! I hope mine is good too.. Haiz....

2008-02-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

4 days of holidays have passed and tomorrow will be another day at work. I am so lazy to go to work nowadays. I do not know why. Tons of work to be done. I will try to go to work early tomorrow morning and leave my workplace at 6pm sharp. I do not want to stay at work late everyday again like how i used to.

Anyway, today was spent looking for Ita's smart pants for her tomorrow's first day of internship. Then we went to watson to get some toiletries for myself. I was looking for sanitary pads and we were around the condom's section. These is how the conversation goes:

Ita: Idah, tu condom.
Me: Nanti time nak kawin, i likan utk mann tu for the hantaran ehk. Utk kai for first nite.
Ita: Huh? Uat ape?
Me: Jadi tk pregnant dulu.
Ita: HAHAHHAAHA.
Me: I tak ingat ar i nye maxi or ape ehk.
Ita: U li maxi ar. U nyer tu besar.
Me: Macam siak ar!!!
Ita: Hahahahaha

When we wanted to leave that section, we turned around and saw a Malay staff was standing quite near to us. We started to laugh so hard cos maybe that gal could have eavedropping on our conversation. Hahahahahaha.

Life have been ups and down nowadays. What with my relationship with him and my problem at home. Can i run away from here? Sometimes, I felt that my head goin to burst soon.

And where can i get 70k plus of money? Can someone please donate me to settle mum's debt with the bank? Shit lah.

Do not want to think so much about it. We just couldnt find any solution to it. Haiz.

Dilah will be leaving soon for Melbourne. I am sure going to miss her alot. The past few weeks, I have been spending alot of time with her and aisyah. Both of them have been there for me when i was down. Really love you two alot. Love my other babez too k. hehe. So dilah will be there for 2 weeks i guess. No gossiping with her. No movies with her. Haiz. Please come back soon k. Dah macam matair sak! HAHAHA.

Last week, I met my babes. It has been awhile since we last met. Since herna's bbq at east coast i think. But i missed the updating-on-life session when we usually had during our lunch. That meeting wasnt enough for me. We need to meet up soon k.

I think thats about all. So gd nitez and have a good week ahead. I am counting the days to weekend! Hehe.

2008-01-20T20:43:00.000+08:00

At this moment, I leave it to God's hands.

2008-01-06T18:43:00.000+08:00

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT. DAMN IT LAH.

2008-01-05T01:16:00.000+08:00

Helloo again! Have been missing for past 2 weeks i guess. Hehe. I love to MIA lah kan. Many things happened during the past two weeks. Will not go into further details. All I can say, "Only God will decide on our fate. We plan but he decides what is best for us."

So I just came back. Well, not really. I came back 2 hours ago. Last minute plan with adilah. I met her at dhoby ghaut mrt to catch a movie, I am Legend, with her two colleagues.

Best lah tu cite. And the main reason is Will Smith played in that movie. He is so damn hot. He has such a hot body. Tell you, I was drooling while watching that movie. Kept telling dilah that he is so handsome seh. Haha.

A good movie. Its a must watch. Imagine you are left alone in the world with a dog. Scary seh. Suspense giler ni cite. And the saddest part was when the dog died. And also the part when Will Smith died too. Should go and watch it. I really do mind watching it again just to watch the hottie, Will Smith, again. Hehe. So anyone want to watch with me?

After that, we walked around plaza singapura for awhile until one of dilah's colleagues suggested to grab a coffee. So we hang out at Starbucks for about an hour. Around 10.30pm, dilah's colleague told us that Suria will be playing Malaysia's horror movie, "Jangan Pandang Belakang." Should have told earlier. I wanted to watch that. By the time I reached home, I only managed to catch the last 5 minutes of the movie. Haha. But luckily I didnt watch the movie because I will be sleeping alone cos Mum is working night shift.

Me and dilah wanted to take a cab homr from Eunos Mrt. Then we saw a taxi available. But that taxi driver wanted to go Ang Mo Kio. But me and dilah going to Bedok Reservoir and Tampines. We thought the taxi driver will not take us but we were wrong. SO he did.

When I reached home, dilah msged me if i already reached home. Then I replied yes and asked her why. She was just making sure that I reached home safely and thought that the taxi driver might take me to Ang Mo Kio. Hahahaha. And I actually thougth that too. That taxi driver was weird. And he said he wanted to go Ang Mo Kio but he can still take us eventhough we wanted to go Bedok and Tampines.

Anyway, during Hari Raya Haji, I asked my cousin, Ita, if she could teach some photography skills. She is not professional but she learnt some skills in school. After 2 years having my own digital camera, now then I know how to use the function macro. Hahahha. Selengeh kan.

So last week, for the past week, I have been trying to take nice photos. And my baby cousin became my model. Haha. I found it nice but I still need to brush up on my skills.

The best shots.

Cute lah shadiq. Everyday, i am looking forward to come home from work. The moment I look at his face, all my stress and worries are gone for awhile. Dier lah buah hati ku walaupun dier tidak tahu ape itu erti cinta. Hahahahahaha.

k lah. Too sleepy. My eyes are half open while typing this entry. So gd nitez/morning people! Have a great weekend!!

2008-01-02T14:56:00.000+08:00

I hope it is not too late for me to wish you guys a very

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! May all that you hope and wish for become a

reality. Cheers! :)

2007-12-18T23:32:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulilah, mum is feeling alot better yesterday. No more stomach pains. No more vomitting. She sounded very cheerful when she callled me yesterday morning. Syukur Alhamdulilah.

So, in the morning, me and dad left home and visitted mum. We thought we had to stay till nite but the doctor in-charged informed us that mum can go home in the afternoon. Yahoo!! But felt a little disappointed as i thought of taking leave today. hehe. But that's ok. Most importantly, Mum is back normal, laughing and smiling.

The moment I saw her on her bed, she no longer look like a patient. Hahaha. Cos she was all smily.

Sempat senyum bile amik gbr. hehe.

So mum, please do not make me panicked like what you have done to me two days ago. Leh pengsan seh!

So i'm back to work today. Was a little lazy to wake up in the morning. With the cold weather, the best time for me to cuddle under the blanket.

How I wish i do not have to work ehk. Kawin dgn datok ke. Can shop everyday. No need to be so stressful at work. Heheheh.

K lah. Just a random post. Feeling sleepy already. Cant wait for thursday and sunday! And next tuesday. If only, there are so many holidays every month ehk. Kan syok!

K lah. Gd nitez people! :)

2007-12-18T12:24:00.000+08:00

Message received from dear few moments ago, who is at Kelantan now:

"Blueeek! Dear i terserempak u smlm mlm dkt dgn utan jln seorg2 dgn satu bdn berbulu2. Bila i ckp 'HI DARLING', u attack i seh. Hehe. "

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

And this makes my day at work. Weeeeee. ;)

2007-12-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

Hady won the Asian idol!!!!

OMG!! I couldnt believe it seh. I never thought he would win. I thought it would be Mike from Indo or Jac from Msia.

Anyway, congrats Hady! I am so proud of u! U have make singapore proud!

2007-12-16T23:06:00.000+08:00

She was looking fine in the morning. We had our breakfast together. She was laughing happily while on the phone with my aunt. She was playing with my little cousin happily. She was cooking some dishes for lunch when suddenly she started complaining of having stomach pains. She had to leave her cooking and go get some rest. I thought it was just a minor stomach pain that will go away after some rest. But I was wrong. It got worst. She started to vomit. She couldnt bear with the pain and so she started to cry.

Lucky, dad is here in Singapore. If not, I'm left alone handling mum. Mum went to the toilet a couple of times to vomit. Till she couldnt get out from bed and had to vomit out inside the plastic on the bed. I couldnt bear looking at mum feeling so sick. I told my uncle that stayed at my house for a couple of months, about my mum condition. He helped me to call for an ambulance.

I was helping mum to get ready to go the hospital when she told me to take care of myself and help her to settle her debts if she passed away. I couldnt bear hearing that, that I started to cry silently.

I love her so much that I cant bear to lose her now. I still need her. I still have a lot of things to learn from her especially her cooking. Ya Allah, please do not take her away from me now.

After some jabs from the doctor, Mum still feel sick. She never stop vomitting. But I tried to be strong. I didnt cry infront of her. Only God knows how I feel at the moment.

Dear called me moments ago. The moment I talked to him, my tears didnt stop flowing down my cheeks. Dear, I need you badly. :(

As I type this, my eyes already felt watery. Ya Allah, please give me strength to go through all this. Please give mum strength and hopefully she will recover fast.

And to Cik nah, Ita, Cik Siti, Cik Yunos, my cute Shadiq and Cik Ajad, thanks alot for coming down and be with me and Dad.

Gd Nitez!

2007-12-15T23:28:00.001+08:00

Hellooo!!! I am back again. Have been missing for so long. Almost 2 months i guess. I have been good. Gaining as much weight. Yes. U heaar it right. I am getting fatter. That is why dear have been calling me "beruang" (read:polar bear) .Hehe.

The reason why i left this blog of mine abandoned for quite sometime is because i was too lazy to update on my life. Have been super busy with work since Adilah left and my manager went missing. Everyday is like a routine for me. Left home for work at 8 plus. Then reached home around 9 plus or 10. Yes. I spend most of my time at work. My workplace is already like my second home. Whenever I informed mum that I will be staying at work late, this will be answer she will always give me.

"Lain kali, awa tilam and bantal sekali. Takyah alik. Tido kat sane. Weekends aje alik."

Hahaha.

Anyway, the boyfie is not at Singapore at the moment. He will be away at Kelantan for a week. Celebrating aidiladha there with his relatives. He was away for only a few hours and I am already missing him so badly. Gosh. Counting the days till 23rd Dec. I am not so used with him being away for the whole week seh. Aiyo!

We met for awhile in the afternoon before he left to Kelantan. Spending some quality moment together. This is how the conversation goes when we were together just now.

Him: I minta maaf if selama nie I ade sakit kan hati u.

Me: Jgn ckp gitu. I already forgive u.

Him: Takleh ckp. Anything can happen to me when I am otw there.

Gosh. I cant take it seh. This is not the time for me to lose him. I do not want to lose him. Please be back home safely dear. :(

Some pictures were taken.

Saw the writings on our palms? We did that just now. He wrote something on mine, and I write something on his. :) Figure out yourself what was written. :)

Time to catch my sleep. Almost 12 plus already. Gd Nitez!

2007-09-12T13:59:00.000+08:00

I miss my cute little thing!!

I'm bored at work. :(

2007-09-12T08:43:00.000+08:00

Hello! Gd morning!

I reached work very early today. Had mee rebus for my breakfast. A heavy breakfast I should say. Suddenly I felt like having mee rebus. Since tomorrow will be the first day of ramadhan, so I better have it today cos there will be no breakfast for the whole of one month. Heez.

Yesterday, stayed up late till 8.45pm. So much of wanting to go back home early. Work has been piling up. Sometimes, I just felt like running away from work. If only I can do that. Haha. I would have done that long time ago.

Dear fetched me yesterday. He was not in his good mood. But I understand why. Just be strong to settle your problem k dear. No matter what happen, I will always be for you. And sorry dilah, couldnt send you back home. Had to settle some things with him.

We went to bugis. I was craving for the caramel frapuccino at starbucks. I do not know why I had so much craving nowadays. Haha. Then, off we went to mum's workplace to fetch her.

Anyway, tomorrow is already fasting month. I am trying my best to do all the responsibility as a Muslim. Will try my best to do terawih as much as possible. And dear, I will only meet you after ramadhan. Maybe one or twice during the month to break fast together with your friends.

I am so looking forward to fasting month. So that I can cleanse all my sins I have done all this while. So many sins. But I do not why, after this holy month has passed, I will start doing it all over again. I am trying to keep my faith strong. Insyaallah. :)

So lovelies, have a good day ahead. And Selamat berpuasa to all Muslims that read this humble blog of mine. :)

2007-09-10T21:12:00.000+08:00

Helloooo people!!!

I know I know. I have been away for so looong man. I have no time to update. Even I have the time, my mind went blank on what to update. Even if I update, will there be anyone interested in my daily stories? Hmm.

Anyway, as usual, mon-fri, I spent mostly at work. Now, I tried very very hard to finish work before 6 so that I do not have to stay back late. And its unpaid! So not the worthy. Mum and fiancee has been complaining me goin back home late from work. So I will try not to make it a habit to stay late at work. Once in a while will do. Especially during closing period which is at the end of the month.

So today, I did not went to work. On medical leave. Has not been feeling good since last week, so Today is the perfect day for me to be away from work. Perfect weather for a perfect sleep. Heez. Brought back some work but I have not started doing it. I am sure going to be super busy tomorrow. And I have so many deadlines. Many things to do. Sometimes I wonder if I can really handle all the work given to me. Now I understand. The higher you are paid, the bigger is your responsibility. Haiz.

Put aside my work. I have been wanting to update on my kl trip. I knew it was way long ago. It has been a month. Whenever I watch a malaysian drama, I started to miss KL. Haha. I want to go there again! 3 days is not enough for me. But I had such a wondeful time with the babez evnthough it was tiring though. It was a hell of experience for us kan.

Tons of photos to be uploaded. But I need to watch Hikmah first! Has been missing it for 2 weeks. So I will upload it some other time. And it might be one month later? Hehehe. I will will try to update more often ya.

So gd nitez lovelies. And have a good week ahead! :)

2007-08-12T23:11:00.000+08:00

I am back from kl!! I reached singapore yesterday night. I had such a fabulous time at kl with the babez and the 2 dudes. I will update soon on my trip to kl.

So, have a great week ahead lovelies! :)

2007-08-07T23:19:00.000+08:00

So I did met up with him yesterday. But I am not going to say much. Things did not went well initially. But as usual, we do make it up after that. I love the moments when we were at changi beach late at night, only me and you.

2 more days, and I am gone. Haha. I will be leaving for KL on the national day morning. Ya I know. I am not a patriotic. But I need a getaway. At last, I will be going for a short break after for so long. I am sure I will be enjoying myself with the babes. I cant wait. ;)

Nothing much to say.

So gd nitez everyone! :)

2007-08-05T22:25:00.000+08:00

As expected, today's plan did not work out. And i got too emotional and started to scold him. I know it was not his fault. He did not do it on purpose. He was too tired after his night shift that he overslept and woke up only after 2pm. And we are supposed to meet up at 1.

I do not know what has got over me. I started to cry. I got so emotional. I couldnt control myself. I cried endlessly as if I lost someone. I do not know why I am not so understanding these few days. I started to spurt out all those words that I am not supposed to say it out. And all because of my damn mouth, he almost wanted to let me go for my happiness. He thought I am not happy wit him. He cant bear hearing me cry. I wailed out loud when he told me to think it over. But I am not going to. I do not want to leave him. I do not want him to leave me. I cant bear without him in my life. He has already became part of my life.

I am really sorry for what has happened this afternoon. It was not your fault. It was my fault. I should be more understanding about your work. I know you are working hard for our future. But money does not matter to me. All I want is just to spend a little more time with you. I have been longing for that from you. We have not been dating for such a long time. And I really miss it so much.

And I know you have been wanting to go out with me too. But time does not allow us. Both of us are totally busy. And I am anticipating so much for our movie date tomorrow after work. I am counting the hours to meet you tomorrow.

And dear, no matter what happened, I am not going to let you go. Only HIM can separate us. But InsyaALLAH, with our doas everyday, we will go through all the ups and down together till we are officially husband and wife. Insyaallah.

2007-08-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

Prior to previous entry, I am okay now. I have been good eventhough at times, I just felt like
crying out loud. At some point in time, I will feel so lonely and my heart felt so empty. And at that point in time, so many negative things started to play in my mind. And sometimes, this will
led me feeling so depressed.

And all this happened because I miss him so much. We have not been spending so much time together. Both of us have been super busy with our own worklife. I guess what people say is true. There are so many obstacles during engagement period.

We can be quarelling non-stop everyday without fail even though it was just a small matter. But
I know we are strong enough to go through this. We will never give up right B?

I really hope our plan will work out tomorrow. I cant stand it if we kept postponing our meet up.

I really need you badly. :(

2007-07-21T18:54:00.000+08:00

I'm trying to stay positve.

I'm trying to get rid all the negative thoughts.

I'm trying to erase all the bad feelings in my heart.

God, please help me.

2007-07-15T20:43:00.000+08:00

Hello!

Have been away for awhile.

No reasons for not blogging.

Have been super busy.

I am perfectly fine.

I will update more when I have the time.

I am counting the days to the KL trip next month with the babez!

I am sure we are going to have a wonderful time there to de-stress! Woohoo!

But I will miss mum and fiancee ALOT when I am there. :(

For now, take care and have a good week ahead lovelies. :)

2007-06-30T15:28:00.000+08:00

While waiting for dear to fetch me, why not I update what has been happening in my life the past few days.

Last wednesday, I was working when I received a call from mum saying that she was on her way to the hospital. I was so shocked and quicky asked her what had happened. She told me she had a fall at the payar lebar singapore post. And her face was bleeding and need some stitches. My heart beated so fast, hoping that nothing will went wrong with mum.

I quickly dashed to the general hospital and went to the a&e section. Then, I saw dad. Then mum came out from the x-ray room. But there wasnt a slightest sad expression on her face. She was smiling away when she saw me. I quickly walked over to her. And she started to tell me how it happens. I end up laughing upon hearing her story. Hahaha. She was laughing away with me. Kelakar giler babe dengar cite dier. Haha. But of course, i was damn worried too. I even snapped a photo of her before her stitches. Soo eeriee seh.

Alhamdulilah, mum is ok now. There's a plaster on her face. So I was telling her to get those cute, pretty plaster and to put on her face. Then leh jadi the next NELLY. hahahaha.

So mum, please please look where you are going k. If not, you will fall like a polar bear. Hehehe.

Yes, yes. Me and dear called mum polar bear because she looks so cute like a polar bear. Hehehe.

On a totally different note, this morning, mum received a very sad news from a relative of mine. One of my grandma's younger bro has passed away at 2 in the morning. I was totally shocked to receive the news. Me and my family have not seen him for such a long time. I guess almost 2 years. I wish condolences to his family. InsyaALLAH, dier akan ditptkan dgn org-org yang beriman and jauhilah dier dari azab neraka, Ya Allah. Amin.

So, in few minutes time, I am heading to the national stadium for the last time. I cant wait to see those Aussie hotties. Hehehe.

So have a great weekend lovelies. :)

2007-06-26T23:14:00.000+08:00

Tuesday, 26 June 2007

So how am I? I have not been blogging. Well, I am doing fine. I love my new job. Really. I never felt regretted leaving my previous job. Eventhough, my ex-colleagues are fine but the current job scope I'm doing now is much better than what I'm doing previously. There's procedures and you are aware what you are doing.

Put aside that, I cant wait to watch the last soccer match at National Stadium this coming saturday. Yahoo! I know its going to be fun. I am anticipating for the veteran match. So that is one of the reason why I love my new job. Cos I am entitled for the complimentary tix. Weee.

So hows my personal life? Have been doing good. Trying to solve each problem one at a time. InsyaALLAH, I believe that ALLAH will give me and my family the strength to go through all the problems. And I believe that "mungkin ada hikmah disebaliknya". I am not going to cry every now and then thinking of the hardship my family have been facing. I am going to be optimistic. Always think postively. InsyaALLAH.

And I would like to thank my man for always being there for me. Always give me the encouragement to look forward. (eventhough you can be irritating at times. heez) I do not need your help financially but all I want from you is for you to be always be by my side. I know we cant meet that often but at least you could be there for me through the phone. :)

So have a lovely day tomorrow, lovelies!

2007-06-24T16:19:00.000+08:00

Sunday, 24th June 2007

Please bear with me. This is going to be a very super long entry with tons of photos.

It has been a week since I got engaged with my man. Life has been good. I have been so excited since I got engaged. :)

Well, I am not going to say much about how I feel but I would like to say many thanks to my mum especially for running around to get stuff for my engagement since I am so busy with work. I owe you alot mum. And without you, I am not sure if it will take off well last week.

And thanks to my aunt too for allowing us to hold my engagement at her house. Grandma cant walk, and my flat do not have lift. So we have to hold my engagement at my aunt's house instead. And thanks alot because we have to trouble you to spring cleaning your house. To my other aunts and uncles, thanks for helping out on that day. Thanks for making the room look gorgeous. Thanks for decorating the hantaran for him.

And to my friends, my cousins and other relatives, thanks for spending some time to attend my engagement. I really appreciate it alot.

And to my lovely babez. You know who you are. Thanks for the lovely gift. I love the bling bling watch. I never expected anything from you guys except your presence on that day. You guys really make my day on that day. I love you babez so much! Muackz!

And to my bestie, aisyah, thank you so much for the apple strudel. But too bad, I couldnt try it since it was a gift to him. So belikan aku lagi satu utk aku mkn leh? Hehe. Love ya.

And to my 8 years of friend, nur, thank you for the advices. InsyaALLAH I will heed your advices. You almost made me cry when you told me that you love me like your own siblings. I will treasure you my dear. And eventhough we seldom meet or call each other, you are always kept in my heart. :)

And to my beloved fiancee, Haja Maidin Khan, I have been so excited since that day. I could not believe I could go this far with you. I never thought I would go far with you when I got to know you. But I am really blessed that I am going to start our life together in two years time. Insyaallah. I am counting the days. You know I have been wanting to spend my life with you. To share our sorrows and happiness together. Insyaallah. No words can ever describe how I felt at the moment. And you know that I have always love you every second.

So I will end this entry with tons of pictures. Please bear with it. Heez. Enjoys!

And have a great week ahead lovelies. :)

2007-06-19T21:17:00.000+08:00

I will update on my engagement soon! :)

2007-06-13T09:01:00.000+08:00

Happy 23rd belated birthday dear!! I am supposed to update on it yesterday night but as usual, bro need to use the computer, so I do not have the chance to update it.

Anyway, back to dear's birthday. I didnt get to spend time with him on his special day yesterday as both of us have to work. Thought of meeting him up after work, but he has to work till 10p.m and that's kinda late for me. I am so sorry dear, for two consecutive years, I have not been celebrating your birthday with you. But of course, you will receive your present. Just wait for that day k. ;)

And I can't get to be the first one to wish you happy birthday. But at least I still remember your birthday kan. Only 10 more minutes to 12 to wish him, but the so tired and shagged me fell asleep. And the moment I woke up at 5.30a.m, I quickly gave him a call and sang him a birthday song. I know it sucks but it comes from my sincere heart. Heez.

And guess who wish him birthday too? My MUM!! Haha. And she did not give him a call but TEXTed him!! I was so shocked that mum texted him because mum have never ever text anyone eventhough she has a handphone. and not even her own DAUGHTER! Haha.

Dear thought I did for her but it couldnt be because I was at work. Then i asked mum, and she was laughing and told me that she took for almost half an hour just to text this,

"selamat menyambut hari lahir yg ke23 smg d panjang umur dan d murah kan rezki dan tetap kan iman"

Isnt it cute? Hahahahaha.

So to dear, once again,wanna wish you a Happy 23rd birthday. May you succeed everything in your life. And smoga dipanjangkan umur selalu. Hope our relationship will last till marriage life and hingga ke akhir hayat.n most importantly, always be happy with your family. n I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUUCCCCHHH LAH GIRAFFE!! Muacckss!!!

P.S. 3 more days and i am way sooo excited eventhough it was just an engagement. :)

2007-06-09T22:13:00.000+08:00

Pardon me if this entry is too mushy. :)

I do not know why I got too emotional when I was listening to the song sang by the Indonesian band, Ungu, Tercipta Untukku. The lyrics are so meaningful. Dear came into my mind in split second the moment I heard this song. How much he is so important in my life. How much I need him so badly to be by my side 24hours a day. Tears started to flow down my cheeks. Yes. I cried listening to this song. Call me a crybaby.

No words can ever describe on how much I love him so bad. Only God knows how I felt towards him.

Sayang, we are one step ahead this coming saturday on the 16th. Insyaallah, we will work hard together and go through everything together to achieve our dream sayang. Always remember, patience will lead us to our happiness in the future.

P.S. I am still crying as i type this entry. I am such a crybaby! *uwek!!*

Tercipta Untukku by Ungu

menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku
mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku

banyak kata
yang tak mampu kuunkapkan
kepada dirimu

aku ingin engkau selalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
sepanjang hidupku

aku ingin engkau selalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
meski waktu akan mampu
memanggil seluruh ragaku
ku ingin kau tau
ku slalu milikmu
yang mencintaimu
sepanjang hidupku

aku ingin engkau selalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
meski waktu akan mampu
memanggil seluruh ragaku
ku ingin kau tau
ku slalu milikmu
yang mencintaimu

2007-06-09T00:14:00.000+08:00

It takes such a long time to download that damn photoshop seh. It has been 2hours plus but the download progress now is only 50%. So pathetic seh. Wasting my time aje. But what to expect. Kata ceplak nyer. Hehe.

So updates updates. Have not been blogging. Have been so busy with my new work. And by the time, I reached home, I am too tired to update or should I say nothing much to update on.
But at this moment I am so excited! Counting the days. 8 more days! Weeeee.

And I miss him so terribly. And I dnt mean boyfie but my little-sumo-chipmunk-alike cousin, SHADIQ!! Hehe. Sori boyfie. Takmu jealous ehk. Hehe.

Deep down I do miss you lah sayang. ;p

So I have catched Ocean 13th. Last wednesday. Gala Premiere at Vivo. Faha and Zari got 3 pairs of free tix from some contest at Perfect 10 and Class 95. Si farha nie selalu menang hadiah tau. Enjoyed the movie. And thanks for asking me ehk. :)

As usual, photos were taken. Lagi2 kalo dgn these two camwhores! Hehe. But I am too lazy to save into my comp, so next time I will post it here.

Actually, I have tons of photos to be posted here.

I think its getting boring. I know I know. Its not interesting because I do n0t have the mood to blog. Heez.

I am tired! I need my sleep! But I need to get this damn photoshop done first.

So have a great weekend lovelies!

2007-06-04T09:33:00.000+08:00

I have so much to update on. From my date with dear last wed, outing with the galfrens on vesak day, dinner with aisyah on friday and one of my relatives' wedding held on saturday. But I just do not have the time. I have lots of beautiful photos to be posted here. I will try my very best tonight to fully update on it.

Overall, I had such a very wonderful time for the whole week of last week. :) Only one that breaks my heart. My digicam is spoiled!!! Out of sudden seh. :(

Need to get back to work. Have a great week ahead lovelies. :)

2007-05-27T20:43:00.000+08:00

I miss him so badly! I can even cry thinking of him. And that's even worst than me missing boyfie. :(

3 more weeks to go. And counting down to the day.

Woohoo!

2007-05-22T08:39:00.000+08:00

Gd morning people! Here I am coming into the new office early so that I can sneak in the net and update my blog. Heez. Everyone is late while I am the first one to reach here.

So how was my new job? So far ok. Alhamdulilah. But I heard so many stories from the staff here about my boss and some of my colleagues. Heard that favourtism practice here. And heard that my malay boss has a very bad mood swings. Worst than a girl that is having PMS! Yesterday, I already saw my colleague got scolded by him and she cried when she went out from the room. Gosh. Suddenly, I miss my old workplace. What if I get scolded? What if I cant do my work efficiently? And I am the kind that can cry easily over small things!

Hopefully, I will try my best to complete and do all my work up to his expectation.

So yesterday, after so long time, finally, I went out with dear. Had dinner with his friends at Lau Par Sat in conjunction with one of his friends birthday. It was a treat from his friend. So we were having free dinner yesterday night. :)

For the 3rd time in our 2 years relationship, I became his pillion yesterday. I told he is so damn dangerous rider. I kept nagging at him not to speed.

Overall, it was fun hanging out with his friends yesterday. They were a nice, cool and crazy bunch of people. After dinner, we headed to Marina South and sabo the birthday boy.

I am enjoying myself because I seldom enjoying nightlife with him and his friends and everyone riding their own bike, and conquering the whole road. Haha. I even reached home at 1 eventhough I knew that I will be working in the next morning. That is why I am feeling so sleepy now.

Need to get back to work. My finance manager is already in!

Have a good day peeps. :)

2007-05-20T15:01:00.000+08:00

So last friday was my last of work. It was a memorable day. There's a farewell celebration for me with my boss and my colleagues. I wasn't really expecting anything from them because they have been so good to me all this while. So they ordered some pizzas to our office. To my surprise, my boss bought me a bling-bling watch. It was so nice of him. I am leaving them and he bought a watch for me. At that moment, I was thinking why am I leaving my job that has a great boss, colleagues and a good environment. But no matter what, I do not regret it. I will still keep in touch with them. Hopefully, we will meet again this coming june on the 16th for my engagement day ya. ;)

Oh ya. Since that was my last day, we also celebrated Betty's 25th birthday in advance. And she received a watch from boss too. It's also a reward for her whom has been working so hard for the past 2 months. Yes. She has been a hardworking staff there. She has a positive mind and willing to learn anything. May you succeed in your career betty. I am going to miss you very much. Miss "kacau-ing" you. Hehe.

The birthday Gal, Betty

Me and Betty

From Left (Audrey, Me, Minying and Betty)

From left (My boss, Francis, Betty and Jonathan)

Me and my two bosses

Put aside my working life. Yesterday, after so many times of postponing of our date (me with ita and aisyah), at last we made it happen yesterday.

Initially, I thought of having dinner at Earl Swensen at the vivo city and after that maybe catch a movie. However, Aisyah have not been feeling so well these past few days, so me and Ita, headed down to Sengkang and dine in at Compass Point Swensen. Isnt it so nice of us to go down all the way to Sengkang to meet you, Syah? Hehe.

Even though, it was only for a few hours, we still enjoyed each of us companion. It was so called a post birthday celebration for the three of us. We exchanged presents. Syah still owe us (me and Ita) presents. Hehe. Takpe syah. Take your time. But make sure it's something more expensive and nice than what we got for you ehk. Hehe.

As usual, our meetup will not be a complete one without any photos taken.

Ita with her present from me ( a GUESS wallet)

Aisyah with her present from me and Ita ( a dangling earring and a necklace from CHOMEL )

Me with a dress from Ita

Ita and Aisyah (Love them to bits. :) )

Me and the cicak kobeng

Me and the one with mata loloq. hehe

Our finger-licking food. Yummy!

Me and Syah before heading back home

The two gilerz

Me! Heez

The cicak kobeng.

So me and Ita went to catch a movie, 28 weeks later at GV Plaza Sing. It sucks. I hate the ending. It was indeed a violent and horror movie but I simply do not like the ending. Hmm.

Tomorrow will be my official first day of work. I am kinda nervous and excited.

Need to sleep now or I will be late for my first day of work! Haha.

Gd Nitez peeps. :)

2007-05-16T23:04:00.000+08:00

So these are the due photos from the mother's day celebration last sunday. There are tons of photos. Like 21 photos. So enjoy. :)

The Scrumptious Dishes

Beloved Nenek with the special Flower

Cik Yah, Bibik, Cik Nah

Me and beloved Mum

The Mummies

The cousins (exclude abg ijal)

Table filled with dishes

My mum and nenek (dah kenyang ke?)

The makciks eating

Ita and riez (asal muka gitu ta?)

Mums and nenek

The cousins (me, ita, riez and abg ijal)

Bibik

Bibik and Nenek

The whole of us

Me posing at the mrt station. Haha

Si cicak kobeng! Hehe

The decent minah pole dancer. wakaka

The tak-menjadi pole dancer 2. hehe

Budak2 sort!

Budak2 tak siuman!

2007-05-15T21:07:00.000+08:00

So here I am, sitting in the living room with the television switched on, surfing the net using my new company's laptop with the newly Microsoft Window Vista. I do not really like the Microsoft Window Vista. I still prefer Window XP.

3 more days to my last day of work. And 5 more days to my first day of work. A mixture of feelings though. A little bit of nervous, excited, worried, and mostly, I am feeling so sad to leave my company. I am going to miss Betty, Audrey and Minying so much!! Life still has to move on. Sooner or later, I will still leave my current job.

So these past two days, I have been at client's office at Kallang way. Minying tagged along with me so that I can handover my work and teach her all the important things to do while at that client's place. And guess what, the new admin staff there was my long lost primary school friend! What a small world. Well, Singapore is indeed way too small. Haha.

I am kinda worried that Minying couldn't handle the workload there. I really hope she will try her best. If you need any help, you can always give me call and I will try my best to have some free time to help you. :)

So, mum and my brother had already received the letter from the government regarding the GST credit package. I was a little disappointed that I didn't receive any. But it makes me wonder, why am I not receiving it since I am already 21 years old?

So I tried my luck and logged in to my CPF account. I was jumping with joy when I was redirected to a page showing that me, Siti Juhaidah Binte Musa, will be receiving $200 on 1st July 2007! Yahoo!!!

I knew I was abit exaggerating. But hey, $200 is still money ok. :)

Tomorrow I will be at Orchard again. And most probably I will be lunching with Aisyah again. Heez.

I cannot wait for friday!!! Ita and Aisyah, you know, i know hor. ;)

So gd nitez peeps!

2007-05-14T01:25:00.000+08:00

Its already 1.30 in the morning. I have yet to sleep. I just reached home 45 minutes ago. At last, today I managed to catch spiderman 3 with my lovely cousins, ita, abg ijal and riez. It was a last minute plan. We got nothing to do after our dinner at Sakura at Eastpoint.

Oh ya, talking about dinner, it was superb. The mums included my grandma and my bibik, received roses and a stalk of chocolate. But of course, the grandma's bouquet of roses was much more special than the rest. Heez. I was very happy when I see my mum, my aunts and my grandma smiled the moment they received the roses. I told u. Simple things can do me wonders.

We had a feast these evening. One big round table filled with variety of foods. And that made our stomachs bloated the moment we stepped out of the restaurant. And with me wearing the newly dress bought at Hula&Co, makes me look like a 3 months pregnant woman. Haha.

As usual, pictures are taken. However, I couldnt post the pictures now as my camera is with ita at the moment.

After dinner, me and my cousins then planned to catch Spiderman 3 at Marina Square. My mum rushed to work while my other 2 aunts sent my grandma home. While me and ita, headed to axs and bought the tix.

Even though it was a long movie ( it lasted for 2 hours ), the movie is a must watch. I enjoyed it so much that I did not set my eyes anywhere else but the movie. There were so many action moves that I kept fidgeting on my seat.

The movie ended around 12 am. Since both my cousins have bikes, they sent ita and me home. I ride abg ijal's bike since his has a bigger bike and I am a big size so u know what I mean. I have not been riding a bike for a very long time. Even thoough dear has a bike, I never tumpang him before. Hmm. Only once. I was reciting so many prayers that Allah will protect from any accidents. I tell you, it was freaking me when abg ijal started to speed at 100km/h. OMG!

Alhamdulilah, I am back home safely now. And I do not feel sleepy. There's a high chance of me getting up late for work tomorrow. As usual, I will be late for work again tomorrow!

I better force myself to sleep or else I will keep yawing at work tomorrow.

So gd nitez peeps or a very very very good morning peeps!

Have a great day tomorrow!!

2007-05-13T12:19:00.000+08:00

I was watching a Malay drama on tv3 last night. It was a drama in conjunction with Mother's Day today. It was a very heart touching story. It was a story meant for all those children who had been neglecting their parents especially the mum. A story that could make you repents. I cried watching the drama.

When I cried, Mum came into my mind. I knew I have been so rude with my mum many times. I knew I always had a tiff with my mum over some disagreement. I knew I had done so many sins towards my mum. I cried for awhile last night thinking of her.

On this special day for all mums especially my mum, I apologized for all the wrong doings I have done to you.

My mum has always been my idol in my life. She is a very patient and strong woman whom have gone through hard life. She managed to survive every single obstacle she went through. She works very hard everyday to earn some money so that she could feed me and my brother and support my education fees. She is the sole breadwinner for the family at the moment.

She managed to keep herself strong and have faith and continue with her everyday life even though she found out that dad married some one else back at his hometown, Kelantan. Although dad has hurt mum so badly and did not help mum financially, mum never fails to carry out her responsibilities as a wife towards her husband when dad visited us here in Singapore. She never thought of getting a divorce even though dad has someone back home. But I knew deep down in her heart, she is crying silently and her heart is broken into pieces.

She is always there when me and my brother in need of someone. She always advised us not to forget our responsibilities as a Muslim. She taught us to be near to Allah.

As a daughter, I am trying my very best to always be there for her. I am trying not to hurt her. And to give her all the happiness she has been craving for. At this moment, she is the most important person in my life. I couldn’t imagine living without her. I have learnt a lot from her.

“Ya Allah please do not take my mum away from me unless I have done my responsibility fully as a daughter to provide her a home and give all my love and happiness to her. I really hope she could see me get married and her future grandchildren.”

To mak,

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.

I hope you enjoy this special day with us later even though it was nothing special. I love you a lot than anything else. Muackz!

Love,

Your precious daughter

Siti Juhaidah Bte Musa

A song dedicated for my mum:

Airmata Ibu

Apakah sebenarnya

Terbuku dikalbumu

Apakah erti linang airmata di pipimu

Ucapkanlah padaku

Tak bisa kurungkainya

Rahsia yang kau pendam itu

( korus )

Aku hanya menduga

Tidak mampu merasa

Sebenar-benar perasaanmu

Pengorbanan yang kau lakukan

Untuk dewasakan ku

Pengorbanan yang kau lakukan

Untuk dewasakanku

Hanya bisa ditangguing oleh hati ibu

( bridge )

Namun kupercaya

Takkan terlerai kasih

Ikatan ini takkan putus

Telah kau telan lara

Dan terima segala

Dugaan dan badai yang melanda...

Duhai ibu

2007-05-12T15:03:00.000+08:00

I love weekends!! This is the time I rest and enjoy my precious moments with my family and my loved ones. And most importantly, a getaway from all the workload in the office. However, time pass so fast during weekends. I couldnt get enough of resting.

Yesterday, as usual our every week meetup to shop. Actually, I have been seeing her face for like almost everyday. I am getting sick and tired. Haha. Joking jer syah. The reason why I met her everyday is because my client's office is very near to her workplace. So we will always meet up for lunch.

I received my pay yesterday so that is why I shop. Heez. I am not supposed to shop for myself but for other people. Syah kept asking me upteen times if I wanna grab anything. I told her I do not want any but now I end up getting a sleeveless top and a slipper for myself. Mata rambang katakan. Haha.

Me buying top and slipper while syah splurged on Tiffany & co. bracelet. I'm not going to say it out how much it cost. You find it out urself. But the bracelet is gorgeous! I want it too. Syah, likan aku satu. Hehe.

I already bought a birthday present for my beloved cousin. I am so in love with it. I am very sure you goin to love it, ita.

Yesterday, I was talking on the phone with dear. Suddenly, my phone went silent. When i take

a look at my handphone, it already went flat. I was searching high and low for my charger in my bag. Then I remembered I left it on my desk in the office. Peh selengeh aku! So now I have no idea how am I going to charge my phone. I told dear, he told me to charge it using my usb cable and connect it to my computer. Since morning till now like 3.24 pm, it has not been fully charged! Aiyo! In the house, I am the only one using sony ericsson. My mum using samsung while my bro using nokia. Haiz.

So tomorrow will be mother's day. Me and my cousins already planned to bring our family out to have dinner tomorrow at Sakura at Far east. I cant wait. It has been along time having such family gatherings.

Will be meeting ita later. Going to make reservation at the restaurant and Ita going to take some photos for her photography class.

So have a great weekend peeps!

P.S I love this new blogskin! And the new song playing in my blog has got nothing to do with my relationship. We are still doing good as usual eventhough we do not meet so often nowadays. I love u so much dear! Back to the song, I just love it! The melody, the lyrics and of course the singer's voice. Menasuk dikalbu ku. Betul tak ehk? Hehe.

2007-05-09T22:48:00.000+08:00

I guess this will be a long entry. I do not get to update fully early in the morning because I am already late for late. Well, I am always late for work. Work starts at 9 but I always arrive around 9.15 am. I wonder how am I going to survive at my new workplace in 1 weeks plus time since their working hours starts at 8.30! Haha.

Yes yes. I will officially start working at my new workplace on 20th may. Go and check your calendar and see which day it falls on. Its on SUNDAY!! You must be wondering how come I am working on sunday. Well, in my previous entry, I am selected as Finance Executive at Football Association of Singapore. My jobscope basically handles claims from various S League teams, referrees, handle ticketing matters and other more. So on that sunday, there's a football match which I do not know which team will be playing aganist which team. Ahakz. So I have to be there and learn all the ticketing matters and what should be done during matches. Well not exactly DURING matches. More likely, before and after matches. So die die I have to stay througout the match. One of the advantage is that I get to look at the cute soccer players. Heez. Dear, takmu jealous ehk. Hehe.

Put aside my work. Actually I wanted to update on my one week overdue trip to the zoo and sentosa. Like almost two weeks ago, me and my galfrens paid a visit to our long lost relatives at the zoo. ;p We met around 9+. Farha, the one that told us not to be late is the one that was late on that day. Initially, I wanted to bring shadiq along. But due to some circumtances, we decided not to bring him along. We reached there around 10 plus. And omg, the weather was so hot. We were sweating like hell.

Then, there was an animal show around one plus. I was called to participate on the show with the sealion. I was told to throw the frisbies and I got a kiss fron the sealion. I was afraid that it might eat me up. Haha. Giler aku nie. Then, one of the zookeeper, that was sitting on the stairs, wished me happy birthday. I was shocked. But I knew my friends planned this and ask them to call me. Well, overall I had fun eventhough it was so tiring.

Some pictures taken on that day.

The next day was Ita's 20th birdae. Dah besar adek sedara aku nie. I had so many plans on my mind for her. But none were successful. But I really hope u enjoy on that day eventhough it was only with me.

My initial plan was to kidnap her from home. My bf will be driving the car. Her two besties will be in the car. Then, we will bring her to sentosa witthout knowing that her two besties were there too. Then, we will sort of like have a picnic there with the birthday cake. Then, we would bring her to take the skyride that she has been wanting so much. But none were successful. Both of her besties couldnt make it. Bf couldnt take leave. So there left me alone. Well, she still do not know that I was bringing her to sentosa that day.

Before I brought her there, we were at the mosque attending the religious class. The weather was dark and cloudy. I was hoping that it will not rain because I have no plan B. And I do not want her to feel dissapointed. After 1, it started to feel sunny again. There, we arrived at sentosa and Ita knew that I am going to bring her to skyride that once we reached there, we straight away take the skyride. Haha. We actually took it twice! Then, we went to the sky tower. It was not that fun as skyride.

Eventhough there were only two of us, we still do have fun kan ita? I really hope you do. I know I owe u a present. U owe me one too. Hehe. Dnt worry. U will receive it next friday. Me, you, aisyah will be celebrating our so long belated birthday on that day. Haha. And we will be exchanging presents. :)

I will end this entry with the photos taken at sentosa. There are so many. So I have open an account at Multiply where I will post all my photos there. its http://sitijuhaidah.multiply.com .

Enjoy! And have a nice day tomorrow. One more day, and weekends is here!! Gd nitez!!

2007-05-09T07:31:00.000+08:00

My blog has been left abandoned for a week plus. Yes. It has been a long time since I update my blog. I have been waayyyy too busy. Its either I am plain lazy or too tired to update my blog or even to switch on my computer. My brain doesnt seem to be functioning well once I stepped out from the office. But I am still senile! Haha. Its just that its too tired to work or think on what to update.

So in the early morning, after my morning prayers, I try to update it. I am lucky there are some wireless connection here. So I will try to update as fast as possible before it gets disconnected. Well, I am using my company's laptop at the moment. I have been going to my client's place for the past few days even on saturday!

Actually I am already late for work. I have not even bath or ironed my clothes. In the first place, I do not even know what to wear today. Aiyo. Staring my clothes for 10 minutes has been my morning routine now.

Ok ok. I know this is not the full update. I will try to update it tonight. I need to send the one week overdue photos to my friends. Hopefully, I do not have to work so late today, so that I will be able to leave at 6 sharp and so I will reach home early and not feeling tired so that I can update my blog!

Need to get ready now. So good morning Singapore! And have a great day ahead today!

P.S. I MISS HIM SSOOOO MUCH!!! :(

2007-04-28T21:45:00.000+08:00

So it has been almost a month plus and I have yet got my menses. I know its too personal. So ita told me maybe I am so stress. Yes. I am indeed very stress. Stress with my current life. Sometimes, I felt like running away from life. Running away from people around me. Run away to somewhere I do not know anyone. To have some peace of mind. But I know, no matter where I ran away, I still cant get away from life and my problems.

Therefore, I have to be stong to go through all obstacles in life and find a solution to every problems. I really hope so I am able to go through all that. May ALLAH give me all the strength and guidance to lead my life. Amin.

Went to the zoo this morning with my galfrens. But I do not think I would like to update now. I am too tired. Maybe tomorrow or monday when I have the time.

Anyway, to my galfrens, thanks for the gift. I appreciate it alot.

Tag replied.

Neechaa: Harlow! U can add me at phynegal@hotmail.com. Cya there. :)

Sha: Aku dah alik!! Penat sak. Ko nak pi spa on sat? Aku tgh pokai oi. Mane leh kai duit ko when it is ur birdae that day. Unless u pay for me as my belated birdae prezzie. ;p Anyway, aku mane ade dibelai. Ko ni pun! Dnt worry, nanti aku dah start keje kat FAS, I will keep a lookout for cute, hottie soccer player for you ehk. And they can belai u as much as u want. ;)

ITA!! Cant wait to give you a surprise tomorrow! Hope you will enjoy it tomorrow. :) Love ya!!

2007-04-22T20:26:00.000+08:00

I was having a conversation with dear in the afternoon for an hour plus. And I was telling him he was getting darker now. This is how the conversation goes:

Me: Dear, u are getting darker seh now.
Him: Iyeke? I rasa you sorg aje yang kata gitu. My frens sume kat keje tak kata I gelap pun.
Me: Maybe ur frens tak honest. Cume nak amik hati u. At least i am honest rather than puji u cerah tapi belakang u i kata u gelap.
Him: *silence*
Me: So wat did ur frens say?
Him: My frens kata walaupun i gelap i tetap hitam manis.
Me: *Laughing like hell* wakakaka. Isnt gelap means dark? They only say u hitam manis but they didnt say u cerah. Hahahaha.

He is so cute. I was laughing like a mad person when he said that. So I was recommending him to apply some whitening cream. I'm going to buy him some facial stuffs for him tomorrow. He needs to look after his face you see. He is so prone to breakouts.

Besides him getting darker, I told him he needs to cut his hair short. His hair now looks like a bird nest. Hehehe. He looks better bald.

On a totally different note, there are some short term goals I need to achieve.

driving license
lose some weight (i am so damn fat now but he claims i'm hot. wakaka. buta agaknyer dektu.hehe)
cash cash cash ;)

I failed my basic theory test like 2 years ago. And I have yet to retake it. I just do not have the time. Maybe I will register in few weeks time. For practical lessons, I will be taking private lessons. Maybe the one that Adilah and Amira took.

So starting from tomorrow, I will start to workout my body. Every morning. I have to. Everyone has been saying that I am getting fatter. :(

24 more days to our 2 years anniversary. Maybe I will plan something. Maybe not. Because he do not like to celebrate anniversaries. Unless we are already married, then it is necessary.

Almost 9pm. I need to catch "Janji Diana" at RTM 2. So gd nitez peeps. Have a great day ahead tomorrow. :)

2007-04-21T19:52:00.000+08:00

I miss shadiq so much seh. I have not seen him since the day he was taken care by his own parents. Cik yah no longer look after him. Since both his parents want to re-marry, cik yah decided to give shadiq back to his parents. I cant asked my uncle to bring shadiq home because I am too sure that shadiq's mum will not allow. She hates us so much. Wonder why. It should be the other way round. It should be us hating her because she was the one that creates problems. But who cares! I do not give a damn to this kind of people. She is the 2nd person in my hated list after my another uncle and auntie. Yes. I hate my another uncle and auntie. They did not treat mum good and I will never respect them. These arrogant people! Just simply hate them.

Anyway, these video was shot few days before Shadiq left cik yah's home. I watched it almost everyday or whenever I miss him so much. Enjoy!!

2007-04-21T01:12:00.000+08:00

Its close to 1.30 am but I have not slept yet. I met dear today. To celebrate my belated birthday. Well, this year my birthday as per normal. Nothing special about it. I do not really feel excited about it. Instead, I have been down these past few days. Even I met him today, we had a tiff quite a couple of times. As usual, we make it up after a while.

We catch a movie today. Wild hogs. That movie was damn funny lah. A must watch. Me and him was laughing throughout the movie. And I think we laughed the loudest. I even got choked on my ice lemon tea and vomitted on his pants. Haha. After that, we went to the mosque to perform our prayers first before we had our dinnner. We had hokien noodle and fishball noodle at Far east.

He sent me home around 11 pm just now. Then I thanked him for spending his time with me eventhough he is tired after his night shift. He has not slept yet since yesterday. And tomorrow he is working morning shift. I made him pissed off a couple of times today. Not being appreciative. I admitted it was all my fault. Being too sensitive. Expecting so much from him. Not being understanding towards him. I breakdown and cried infront of him before he left for home. I told him how much stress I am right now with my life. Trying to cope with my life. There are so many things on my mind. Trying to figure out how to help mum to solve her problem. How hurt I am to see mum working so hard to pay off her debts. How hurt I am to see mum complaining how tired she is. How hurt I am to see mum cried everyday thinking of how to solve her problem. Dad is not here to give her a support. She only has me. I am trying my best not to give her any problems or hurt her. But sometimes I admitted I did raised my voice at her because I am too stressed with work and life. I did not show her how hurt I am seeing her working so hard at her old age. But I told her, all this are obstacles from Allah to test us how strong we are. Whether we are able to handle all this from HIM. Bak pepatah, "Mungkin ade hikmah disebalik ini semua." Maybe we are not lucky like other people. But mum, please remember that there are always other people that are more miserable than us.

Today was the first time I cried endlessly infront of him. I am so grateful to have you to lend a shoulder to cry on. All this while I have no one to depend on but to cry all alone.

To my dearest Maidin,

"I am so sorry all this while I have been making you so pissed off, making you so worried about me.. I am so sorry I have not been so understanding towards you. But eventhough I treated you badly sometimes, you never fail to love me more. You taught me to be strong. You taught me not to lose hope. You never fail to make me happy when I am down. You never fail to make me smile. I should be lucky to have you as my guy. You are my best friend, you are my lover, you are my enemy. :) I love you so much dear. I will try my best to give you as much love to you. I know I have not been so caring and loving towards you all this while. You have been so patient with me. I will always treasure you so much dear."

He was telling me that " It doesnt matter if some of your friends do not remeber your birthday as long as your loved ones do." And he is right. At this moment, my loved ones are the most important people in my life especially my family.

K k. I know I am being too emotional today. Anyway, I have good news. I already secured a job. I got an offer as Finance Executive at Football Association of Singapore. I actually went for the interview on my birthday itself. During the interview, the interviewer was telling me that he was not convinced why he should employ me. From there, maybe I have the feeling l wil not get that job. So I wasnt hoping so much for it. However, when they gave me a call this afternoon, I was shocked, What mum said is true. Sometimes the one that we least expected, we will get it. So I will start that job around 20th may.

Time for sleep. Need to call him up. Good nitez peeps. :) Have a great weekend.

2007-04-14T23:04:00.000+08:00

We cancelled our plan to the car rental shop today. All due to my selengehness. I was so "pekak" (claimed by dear) that I did not asked the owner of the shop whether they are opened today. Lucky, before we got ready, dear called the owner and was informed that they are not opened today. Haha. So dear told me that I was "pekak" and he do not trust my info anymore. Haha. How should I know whether they are opened or not. Blueek!

But we still see each other today. He came over to my house for awhile. Mum has cooked chicken curry and packed some for him. SO that he can eat it during his break time. he was working night shift today anyway. He is so damn lucky to get a future mum-in-law that cares so much about him. He is aware of that, that he once said that my mum is much more caring towards him than me. Hehe. I know, I know. Sometimes I did not show him how much I care about him but that does not mean I do not care about him. I still do and always do, my love. :)

2007-04-14T00:47:00.000+08:00

Today's shopping spree was totally unplanned. Initially, aisyah asked for a meet up. But then, she cant make it. So I met dilah. We met after work. Headed to Alfalah mosque to perform our prayers first, then we proceed to Far East Plaza.

My plan was to find a birthday present for my brother. Anyway, he turns 30 this year. The moment we reached Far East Plaza, there were so many things that I wanted to buy. Before that, dilah told me that I should buy at least one. But I do not want to. Now, instead of getting a present for my bro, I ended up buying things for myself. I bought 2 dresses, a red handbag, a bangle and a watch, all together costs me around $80. It was worth it right. I wanted to grab a red shoe but too bad, there isnt any size for me. For your info, I wore a size 9 or 10. I know its big. Haha. Thats why sometimes I hate finding shoes for myself.

I promised myself not to shop anymore after this. So much of saving up. But today I already spent a sum.

So tomorrow maybe I will meet up with him to rent a car for next friday on the 20th. He planned to spend the whole day with me to celebrate my belated birthday. I already applied leave on thursday and friday. Its going to be a long weekend next week. Will not be working from thursday to sunday. Yahooo!!! ;D

Almost 1 am. Need my beauty sleep. Gd nitez peeps. :)

Anyway, I wanna wish my bro, Mohd Jufri,

A Happy 30th Birthday!!!

Semoga dimurah rezki and panjang umur selalu.

And menjadi anak yang soleh dan bertanggungjawab.

Amin.

2007-04-13T09:59:00.000+08:00

I was already late for work. But my stomach was giving some problems. I need the toilet so badly. Usually, I will just do my business at home. I do not care if I was late or not. But today I cant make myself late. All because of the new girl in my company. She does not have the office key. Only me and betty. But betty will not be in the office in the morning. So die die I must make it to the office before 9 am.

No choice, I have to hail a cab. And from Tampines to Selegie road, it costs me $16.30! And that can actually last me for my one whole week lunch. Pokai lah aku cam gini selalu.

I really need to save up. I have noticed that at every end of the month, I am always broke. Sometimes, I wonder where does all my money goes to. I am not a really big spender. Do I? Hmm.

Back to work! I am freezing here. That new girl was seated in the same room as me. Aku yang berselubung sejuk giler, dier yg kudut, pakai baju t-shirt gitu aje, masih rasa panas. Heran betul. Haha. Usually, I do not really switch on the aircon. Only for awhile. To cool down the room. But with her in the room now, I guess I have to bear with it.

2007-04-11T17:33:00.000+08:00

A message received from dear, "Nw i'm otw dtg tmpt keje u. Leh jumpa u?"

And that makes my day. :) A simple thing like this can make my day after a long day at work.

I am a little excited now. Waiting anxiously for him. I cant wait to meet this tall giraffe! Hehe.

So before lunch, boss was asking if I am really leaving the company. I told him I will reconsider about it and give him an answer in a week or two. At last, I told him honestly why I am leaving the job. Its because I do not want to travel to client's place anymore. I just want to stay in the office. He then said' "U silly girl. Why didnt you want to tell me earlier? I thought you do not mind at all."

Then, he was telling me that most probably, they will move out to a new office at Clarke Quay. And that actually makes me think twice if I should resign or not. Actually, another reason why I wanted to leave was because of the work environment. They do not have a proper office. Few weeks ago, they told me they might be moving out to an apartment at Kovan. And I do not favour it. Hey, working environment do plays a part.

I am still waiting for a reply from MAS. I called them yesterday and they said that the process will take place for a week or two. Hopefully, I will be selected. Insyaallah.

10 more minutes to 6. Need to pack my stuff and meet my tall giraffe!

Have a great evening peeps! :)

2007-04-09T21:34:00.000+08:00

I have been wanting to update this. Last friday, I had a blast with Aisyah. Everything was a last minute plan. We went sentosa!! I went out as early as 9 am. It was so pack there. And there were so many changes. It was getaway for both us from all the stress at work. And we tried out the skyride. Well, it was the first time for me. And I was fidgeting while I was on the skyride. It was nerve wrecking. Imagine if that thing fall. OMG!! Haha.

We were at the beautiful island for almost 2 hours. Then, we headed back to vivo city to had our lunch. Syah bought a blouse. We patronized almost every shop there. Our legs were aching, so we decided to have some dessert at Coffee Club. We had fruity fondue. It was ok. I think if i made it on my own at home is much more worth it. Haha.

Then, we had our hair cut!! At far east plaza. It was a last minute thingy because we do not know what else we want to do. Anyway, it was only 10 bucks.

I wanna go to sentosa again. I wanna swim there. hmmmmm.......

That's for all now. Gd nitez!! :)

2007-04-04T13:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I received a call from Monetary Authorty of Singapore (MAS) . I was told that I was shortlisted for an interview this coming thursday!! I was excited. I didnt expected to be shortlisted though.

10 minutes later, my boss came into the office. I knew I have to do it. To pass him my resignation letter. I was reluctant actually. But I want to try something else. In new environment. Better exposure.

Before passing him the letter, we gave him a belated birthday cake (shared by me, betty and audrey). Then, he was thanking us for all the hard work we had put on in the company and helps him to run it smoothly. When he said that, I felt guilty to leave the company. So far, only betty knows that I am leaving besides my other close frens and families.

30 minutes to 6 oclock. My heart was beating so fast. My hand was sweating. I was pacing ard my room. My mind was trying to figure out what to say to him. I decided to give syah a call. I told her I was nervous. But she said just passed him the letter. So after hanging up the phone, I quickly made my way to his room. Jonathon, another co-partner of the company, was there too. Boss saw me holding an envelope. He knew what was inside. The moment he saw it, he was totally dissappointed and little shocked.

We chatted for like 20 minutes. They were reluctant to let me go. But if it is for a good cause, then he is happy for me. I told him I was shortlisted for an interview at MAS. He told me to go for the interview first. He hold on to the letter first and wants me to re-consider abt it.

Well, maybe I will re-consider about it. But most probably, I will still quit. I know I am making such a rush decision and its risky to quit before securing a new job.

2007-04-03T10:40:00.000+08:00

Speckie! Speckie! Where are you?

I have misplaced my spectacles. I was searching high and low in the morning before I went out to work. From under the bed to under the pillow to my bro's room but I still couldnt find my speckie. I remembered I placed it on my cupboard but in the morning, it was not there. Where has it gone to?

I looked at the clock and it was already 8.10 am. I'm already late for work! So I have decided to go to work without wearing my spectacles. So I called mum to look out for my speckie when she reached home from work later. She told me to be careful while crossing the road and not to board bus service no 28 instead of 23. Haha. Now, I am seeing double. Insted of 3, I will see 8. Haha. Anyway, I think I want to change my specs.

I'm not feeling well. Down with flu. Feeling feverish. All because of DEAR!! He passed me his virus! Heh.

I'm having difficulties doing work without my speckie. Soon, I will have a headache. Hope my flu will last till thursday so that I can take MC! Then, thursday-sunday will not be working. Syiok kan?!! Heheh.

Back to work!

2007-04-02T21:37:00.000+08:00

Looks like I am going to move house again. Not yet confirmed. Mum called and said that a malay family was interested in our house and wanted to buy our house. So mum was asking me if we could buy a new flat using my name and her name. I told her that I do not want if we have to take up a bank loan. Well, honestly I do not want to. I want to have alot of cpf in my account till I got married. So that I could buy a house with my future husband in the near future. But if that can help to lessen my mum's burden, i guess i will go for it. I'm willing to do anything for her happiness. I'm willing to sacrifice anything for her. And I have discussed regarding this with dear. And he supports every decision I will make. Cos this will affect our future when we got married (Insyaallah).

I am blessed to have a wonderful and understanding bf. That is why I love you so much dear. :)

Seriously, it was such headache thinking abt this problem. This problem has been going on for years. Since I was in poly. Or since I was in secondary school I guessed. If can, I want to get this prob solved fast. So that I can continue my studies. So that I can take up a degree course. But all this has to put aside first now.

Last week I was telling mum that I planned to continue my studies next year. But mum dont seem to be encouraging me. She told me a diploma is enough. I know maybe she thought that she has to support me again. She thought that I will stop working and could not support her. But that wasnt my plan. Maybe I will take up a study loan. I will not ask her to fork out a single cent. Well, I will see. "Kite merancang, Tuhan yang menentukan. "

2007-04-02T14:40:00.000+08:00

I have printed out the resignation letter. I have inserted it inside the envelope. All I have to do now is to pass to my boss. But right now, as being fickle minded always, I have yet to pass the letter to him. I'm still thinking if I have done the right move. Anyway, he is not in today. Still on vacation I think.

It was his birthday last saturday. Me and betty was planning to buy for him a cake today or tomorrow. So I was telling betty that I might be giving him a birthday present and that is my RESIGNATION LETTER! haha. I am sure he will get a shock.

This question has been keep playing in my mind. "Should I or should I not quit?"

2007-03-28T14:46:00.000+08:00

Guess what?? I am already at home! Haha. I took urgent half day leave. I was at client's place but I just couldnt concentrate on doing my work. So I have decided to take half day leave. I told you I really need a change. I really want to quit.

So I took bus service no 5. It was a long ride. From Orchard to Tampines. It was dark just now. So I thought its going to rain. Will be the perfect time for me to take a nap at home. But once I reached tampines, it was all sunny.

I guess I will help out with the houseworks. Or maybe, after that, I will just watch tv. Waiting patiently for Dance floor and American Idol 6 tonite. :)

Oh ya. Zari msged me an hour ago. They were planning for shisha session at Arab street this coming friday. I am not sure if I will join them because I am aready broke! Anyone wish to sponsor me? $50 will do. Inform me and will pass you my bank account no for transfer. Thank you. ;)

PS: 22 more days to my 21st birthday. :)

2007-03-27T21:16:00.000+08:00

Remember last week I was saying that I wanted to cook meatballs blackpepper? I did it! I mean I cooked it but not successful. Haha. It turns out to be more like sambal meatballs rather than meatballs blackpepper. I have not been cooking for such a long time you see. Do you consider cooking rice and maggee part of cooking? Haha. Anyway, I have taken a pic of it. I know it does not look delicious but my mum, bro and dear said that it was superb! Haha. I was shocked though because I was already half-hearted when there isnt any a look of blackpepper. You see the pic then you will know what I mean.

Dear requested for chicken rice. I have no idea how to cook that. Haha. Go and buy the ingredients then I will cook for you!

I was at expo on sunday for the Maulidur Rasul. We brought our little sumo along. He ended up sleeping while people were reciting the selawat loudly. Ape dah! Pictures and pictures of him! I just cant simply get enough of him. ;)

I have made up my mind that I will give my boss 2 months notice before I left the company. Woohoo! Wish me best of luck to find a new job aite. :)

2007-03-24T00:45:00.000+08:00

I had a wonderful time with my galfrens. We had our dinner cum Farha's 21st belated birthday celebration at Mak's Place. The food there was superb! I had chicken chop with blackkpepper sauce. It was spicy though. Overall, everything was wonderful and superb today. Fun jokes. Laughing around. As if our group conquering the whole restautant. Haha. Will not say much. Enjoy the pics (not much pics taken actually) . Especially the food. :)

The birthday gal. :)

Me and amira.

Us again.

Mira's beef steak. Slurps!

My chicken chop.

Beef steak, mee goreng and nasi goreng.

The galfrens.

I was thinking of cooking meatballs black pepper tomorrow. Taken from a magazine. Looks delicious right? Hehe. Hopefully I have all the ingredients.

I thought of staying at home tomorrow but at the same I felt like catching a movie. Aisyah wanted to watch Mr Bean the Holiday Movie but I want to watch Stomp The Yard. Hmm. Will decide tomorrow.

Feeling sleepy already. Gd nitez peeps. :)

PS: I add a tagboard. Do tag me. :) Not sure if there will be anyone that will tag me though. heez.

2007-03-23T16:46:00.000+08:00

I just came back from the mosque. And the moment I stepped into my office, my supervisor was gone. He went home already! That was early. He came into the office at 12pm. And already left around 4 plus. Bad example! Haha.

So left me and betty in the office. Boss wasnt in the whole day. He was on course. And me and betty was hoping that Boss will not come in later before 6. So that we could leave earlier. Haha.

Today marks my 1 year of service in my current company. Times flies very fast. It seems that I just only started working here. I have learnt alot here. I am more independent now. It was a good experience here. But in terms of future prospect, I am not really sure.

I am very fickle minded you see. I still have not figure out whether I should leave my job or not. That time I wanted to. But now I am still not sure. But I have sent out my resume to a few companies but yet to receive any reply. Well. I will see how in a month or two. Hmm.

Mum called. And I was shocked to hear something from her. That my uncle going to re-marry with his ex-wife! OMG! I really do not know what to say about my uncle. This will be the forth time he is getting married. I do not mind if he wants to re-marry again. But he is marrying to his ex-wife that all this while he has been insulting about to other people. My mum herself witnessed what happened during their fight before they got divorce. The wife was cursing him like hell.

I know I should accept whatever decision he made. But still! Aiyo. Bak pepatah "Dah ludah, jilat alik." Is dat correct? Haha. My malay sucks now. Hopefully, SHE has changed to the better. Eventhough, I already forgive her after cursing my mum, but I do not think I would LOVE to talk to her in any family gatherings.

I guess sooner it will be quite difficult for us to see shadiq. Hopefully he will remember us and will be well taken care of by his parents. I'm kinda sad though. I will miss him. :(

40 minutes to 6 pm. Yahoo! Goin Home! Actually I did nothing much today. Haha.

Tata!

2007-03-23T12:14:00.000+08:00

TGIF!!! Weekends coming. A getaway from work. Heez.

Not so busy today. I did nothing much actually. Had breakfast. Surf the net. Blog hopping. But time seems to pass so slow when there's nothing to do. Not exactly nothing to do. There are. But not that urgent.

Cant wait for work to end. Will be meeting the galfrens for dinner cum belated birthday celebration for Farha at Mak's Place. Mum is working night shift today. So yesterday was planning with dilah what to do after dinner. Hehe.

Last wednesday, I was saying that I miss him so much right. Guess what. I met him right away for lunch. hehe. Then we were chatting away about our future all this. Then he showed me video clips. Remember, the two suicide cases at Admiralty and Yishun MRT like i-dont-know how many months ago. Yes, he has the two clips showing how they actually commit suicide. It was so gross. The clips kept playing in my mind till now. Even when I slept at night! Soo eerie seh! I do not know why these two already dead people were so stupid seh.

Plans for weekends? Hmm. I do not think I will be going out. Will be resting at home i guess. Or maybe learn some cooking skills. Suddenly, I felt like cooking tomorrow. Meatballs black pepper maybe?

I can smell maggee! I think my supervisor is cooking maggee for lunch. Makes my stomach growling louder. Gosh. Gonna grab some food. Maybe cup noodles.

Happy lunching and have great weekend ahead!

2007-03-21T12:36:00.000+08:00

I Miss him so much. Did not meet him for almost a week. I know it was only a week but still I miss him. I want to meet him!! I know I am so crazy already. ;)

2007-03-20T22:02:00.000+08:00

At last I get to post on what has been happening last week.

Tuesday

Working. Went to client's place at Raffles Place. Dear gave a surprise there. He lied that he was working that day. But instead he came down to give me a surprise and we had lucnh together. And that makes my day. :)

Wednesday

Working. Working. At Kallang. Usual monthly visit. Working hours 9 - 6. But that day, reached clients' office at 10a.m and left at 5.30p.m . Bad Bad Staff. Heez. Went shopping alone after working. Shop at metro Century Square. Grab a black pants and a top. Bump into my ex sec schoolmate. Later in the evening, dear came over to my place. :)

Camwhoring by myself. Teehee. :)

Thursday

Working. Working. Working. Nothing much happen. Bored.

Friday

Went out with my two beloved cousins, ITA and SHADIQ. First half of Friday was working. In the afternoon, met them. I had such a wonderful time eventough it was tiring though (I had muscle cramp due to carrying that almost 10kg lil sumo) . Eventhough adiq cant talk, but his cute gestures makes my day. He was the STAR on that day. Everyone divert their attention to him while we were walking along Orchard Road. They were like "wow. dat baby is so cute lah"

We brought him to Pizza Hut at Centrepoint. Ita wanted to show him to her friends. And practically everyone wanted to carry him. Lucky him. At such a very young age dah pi tpt class. Suke lah budak kecik tu. Sume perempuan angkat dier. Haha. Eventhough we ordered quite alot but our stomach wasnt that full. All because of shadiq. Hehe.

Then another cousin of mine gave me a call. She wanted to see Shadiq too. So after our meal, we walked down to Coffee Club at Rendouvous Hotel. While we were on the way there, Shadiq fell asleep while Ita was carrying him. Since it's quite far, we took turn to carry him. When we reached there, we put him on the sofa and he slept for almost an hour. Ape tak. The sofa was so comfortable and its air-conditioned. Mestilah best tido. Hehe.

His thunder thighs. Mcm nak gigit gitu. hehe.

While he was asleep, we enjoyed our smoothies and chocolate mudpie. Yummylicious! and its Free! hehe.

We waited for an hour for Shadiq to wake up. And guess what, he shitted! Haha.

Then, we paid Abg Ijal a visit at his workplace at Paragon. This budak kecik was so excited the moment he saw abg ijal. He started laughing. Wiggled in his pram. Suke betul dier. Haha.

Around 8, we decided to go home because we were so damn tired. And shadiq fell asleep again!

Shadiq was so hungry that he ate two bowl of nestum and 1 packet of biskuts the moment he got home. Kesian dier. Hehe.Saturday

Worked half day. Nur had cukur rambut for her 2 months daughter.

The princess of the day.

After that, me and Ita met Rasyiqah aka nyonya. She jus came back from holiday at Australia. Best seh. I'm still longing for holiday. :(

2007-03-20T17:55:00.000+08:00

Guess what? Right now I am blogging while my boss was discussing about accounts in front of me. What a bad employee! Hehe.

It has been a week I have not been updating my blog. I wanted to. But its either my mind was blank while staring at the screen or I am too plain lazy. Hehe. Yesterday, I wanted to update but then my computer was inside my bro's room, so he came back with his fren and need to use the comp. Menyibuk aje!

I think I will update fully at home.

Tata. :)

2007-03-12T22:27:00.000+08:00

I am down with diarheou today. ( is that the correct spelling? whatever it is. )

Till date since 1 am in the morning, I have been shitting for more than 15 times i guess.

So I was on MC today. I prescribed some medicine but I do not take them. Because I hate medicine. And one of the medicine that was given to me looks like charcoal. And I have to eat 4 tablets at once. But I decided not to. So I made myself a very concentrated tea. Mum told me that could heal diarrheou. But it is still the same. So I bought 7 up. Some people say drinking 7 up could heal it too. But to no avail. Instead, I went to the toilet 2 more times after that. If its still the same, I have to force myself to take the medicine. Eeew!!!

2007-03-08T21:28:00.000+08:00

A letter from the Singapore Police Force :

" Dear Ms Juhaidah,

APPLICATION FOR THE POST OF THE MANAGEMENT SUPORT OFFICER(MSO)

Thank you for your interest in a career woth the Singapore Police Force.

2 We have considered your application carefully and regret that we are unable to offer you an appointment.

3 We wish you all the best in your future endeavours.

Yours Sincerely,
FU QING SHU(MS)
MANPOWER OFFICER (CIVILIAN SERVICES)
for ASSISTANT DIERCTOR MANPOWER(RECRUITMENT)
POLICE HEADQUATERS "

I was a little dissapointed when I received that news. My mum conveyed that news to me. She called me numerous time while I was working to inform me that I received a letter from SPF. So I asked her to read the letter. And of course, my mum did not pronouce properly as she is a little illiterate in English language. So not to trouble her to read the whole letter, I told her to find the word "regret". And yes, there is! Only God knows how I felt. But I will not give up. I believed that there will always be a second chance and "rezki boleh dapat dimana2". All we need is to put in more effort and not to give up so easily. Maybe at these moment I am fated to work at my currrent company. And face all MY CLIENTS again. :(

Put aside my working issue.

I really felt pity towards the Indonesian. As you know, there were 2 earthquakes occurred recently. And we Singaoreans felt the tremours. Its only tremours but we were already so scared. Wonder how the Indonesian felt. The next day, there was a plane crash. One after another. Saw the news, Japan also was hit by earthqauke. This left me wondering if the world has come to an end.

"Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku. Jauhilah lah negara ku dari segala musibah dan bencana alam yang tidak diingini."

At these moment, we should feel lucky that we are in a safe country. I know sometimes we really hate our life just over a single thing that we do not like. Just because we do not make it in our love life, our career or our studies, we already felt a pinch of hatred to our life. Why are we fated to be like this lah. Tu lah. Ni lah. Mcm2. But when we watched with our own eyes what happens to other countries, we should feel lucky and appreciate all the small, little things in life. Always remember that there will always be other people that are experiencing worst in their life than what we are facing now.

Anyway, my dad will be back tomorrow. He's supposed to come back here for my engagement day but then my engagement was postponed to June. But he still wanna come back. Cant wait. Because he will be bringing some durians home from Kelantan. Hehe. (u guys must be wondering what is my dad doing at Kelantan and why he is coming back since he was suposed to be living here in Singapore with my family. will update more on that the next time round.)

Good nitez peeps! Weekend is on the way! Have a great weekend!

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

2007-03-05T08:05:00.000+08:00

Timecheck : 8.06 morning

I made it! I reached office as early as 7.30 in the morning. So today I will discipline myself. To finish up my outstanding work. And not to lose focus in 1 hour. I tend to lose focus after 30 minutes. I cant always do that you see. If not, my work will never be done.

Aniway, Gd morning Singapore! Have a nice working day!

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

2007-03-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

I am totally crazy man! I changed my skin again (blogskin i mean!). It's a fun to do, you know. Ita saw it and she actually thought that I did everything by myself including the coding. U think I am that professional huh? Haha. Well, basically I copied the template from blogskin.com. And all I did was, include the main photo at the top. Thats all. Haha. The original template do not have any photos/graphics up there. So I just include mine. :)

Back to office tomorrow. Three days pass so fast. I think I will be dragging myself to work tomorrow. I miss school so much. :(

Anyway, I planned to come to office very very very early in the morning. I guess I will leave my house around 6.30am. Crazy huh? Well, I have to! I need to submit the accounts to my client before lunch. If not he will be chasing after me. I am afraid though to come to office tomorrow. Afraid if boss will be angry with me for not finishing my work last week and still can go on leave. Argh!! Dnt care lah.

At last! My craving for Nasi Lemak is gone now. (Dah mcm org pregnant gitu.haha.) I had my lunch at Kampong Glam Cafe in the afternoon after my religious class. You should give it a try. The Nasi Lemak is so LEMAK . Its very delicious. But of course, you should not have that often.

Bedtime! Gd nitez people!

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

P.S : Hmm. Should I or should I not leave my company?

2007-03-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

At last today I managed to used up the movie vouchers. It will expire at the end of the month. Initially, I thought of asking my mum, Ita, my bf or aisyah to catch a movie with me. But end up, I asked erna to catch with me. So we watched the Ghost Rider. Its a good movie. Must catch it. Really enjoy it.

Before I met up with erna, I meet my bf for awhile. We walked around Plaza Singapura. Then, we went to Citigems. I showed him which rings I prefer. I was in love with this particular ring. I love it. Its $658. But they were having a discount of 40%. So after discount, it will be ard $394. However the promotion ends tomorrow. I knew he couldnt afford to buy that ring. But its ok.

So how was my interview yesterday? I was very nervous. Its at the twin tower opposite Tan Tock Seng. I didnt knew that that building was Police Headquaters actually. Ah oh my. The security there was so strict. My mum accompanied me. But only the registered visitor was allowed to enter the building. So mum have to wait for me outside the building.

I was not the only one to be interviewed. There were other two candidates. One of them was a Malay girl. At least, there's someone for to chat with. I was the 2nd person to be interviewed. And guess what. There were like 5 interviewers!! I never came for such interviews. My stomach started to have butterflies. My palm was sweating. My heart was beating damn fast. In other words, I WAS SO DAMN NERVOUS! But alhamdulilah, the interview went well. I managed to overcome all questions asked. Oh ya. I was interested in Deputy Finance Officer as there are 3 positions available. So they started to ask questions regarding accounts.

Listed below are the questions asked yesterday.

Tell me more about yourself.

Which position I was interested with.

Why do I like accounts?

Whats my career plan in 2-3 years time?

What's my hobbies?

Tell them my strenghts and weaknesses.

Why do I want to leave my current job?

Did I apply any other jobs beside that?

If I was not selected for the position I was interested in, will I reconsider other positions?

If I was not selected for a postion in the Homet Team, will I still leave my current company and look out for other jobs?

And I managed to answer everything in 20 minutes I guess. There was one question that got me stuck and kept quiet for a moment. What an accountant need in himself?

But overall, It went well. Hopefully, I will be selected. If not its ok. Mungkin bukan rezeki aku kat situ. But I will still keep a lookout for other jobs. Because I really want to leave my current job. Only God knows why.

Oh ya. My little sumo is having measles. When I came over to my aunt house, red dot were all over his face. Haha. Dah mcm kena pimples gitu. So cute. Hehe.

About time to sleep. Mum kept nagging. So gd nitez peeps. Have a great Sunday tomorrow. :)

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

2007-03-01T22:50:00.000+08:00

Today is a bad day for the first day of the month of March. I was really feeling down today. Really down. Sometimes I wonder why we girls can easily cry? And sometimes I really hate it when I cried. Why cant I be strong? Why am I such a crybaby? Why cant I control my tears? For once, I would love to control my tears whenever I reminisced what I have gone through and my problems me and my family are facing at the moment. And while I was doing my work in the morning, gradually my tears flow down my cheek.

A message was sent to my fren . "Paling minimum utk byr sewa umah is 900 per mth. Dari mane sak aku nak cari duit. Leh mati seh byr tu mcm every mth. Sampai biler mak aku nak keje. Sampai 60 pun masih kena keje. While other woman at that age dah goyang kaki kat umah."

When I msg that, I started to cry. Why cant my mum be like my mum's fren? No need to work anymore at this age (she is 56 this year). Have a husband to support her and our family. To receive monthly income from her own husband. But for my mum, she is the mother and father and the sole breadwinner of the family before I start work. Seriously, it really pains me to see her complaining how tired she is after a hard day at work. Complaining how hurt her leg is. I felt like crying whenever she confide with me. But I held back my tears. I do not want to cry infront of her. Instead, I will be in the toilet crying myself out. Like what I have done at work this morning. I straight away went to the toilet to avoid my colleagues seeing me crying. With my unresolved problems, then comes my never ending workload. My client stop by my office while I was in amidst of doing work. And I really mean busy.

Why cant I be strong like mum? Why I must cry? Why am I such a crybaby? For the whole year of 2006, I have lost count how many times I have cried.

"Ya Allah, tolong lah berikan aku semangat dan kekuatan untuk menempuhi segala dugaan dari mu, ya Allah."

2007-03-01T10:45:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow I will be on leave. I am not coming to work. I am so happy. But a mix of worries and nervous too. I'm worried of my workload at work. I'm nervous because of my interview tomorrow at Singapore Police Force. Hopefully it will goes well. And hopefully I will get that job. There's advantage and disadvantages of working there.

Advantages:

Lots of benefits.
A good long term job.
Secured.
and BONUS! Haha

Disadvantages:

Many staffs there. And I am sure there will be some politics going around there. I am so used to working alone because my current company only have 3 staff in the office.
Difficult to get a pay rise or promoted. But here, its easy as there's not many staff to compete with.

But still, I need a change. Or it is just ME. That I get bored easily. Another reason is dealing with the clients. Sometimes I just couldnt stand it seh. Haiz.

Hopefully I will be selected for that position. But if I do not get it, I will feel that dissappointed. Maybe I will find at other places. I want to try finance side. Or maybe bank? Hmm.

This morning received a message from my boss saying that my colleague is on MC. Maybe due to cough and flu. But few minutes later, Betty messaged me that she fainted in the train when she was on the way to work. I was shocked to hear that. Hopefully u are ok. Get well soon k. :)

Need to get back to work. There's no one in the office here. So the only way for me to let out what's in my mind is to blog. I need a holiday. :(

Aniwei, wish me best of luck k for my interview tomorrow. :)

2007-02-27T23:44:00.000+08:00

Yeehaaa..!!! I have changed my blogskin again. I am so addicted doing all this. It was fun, you know. Especially when you are sleepy. Suddenly, u feel energetic and a rush of adrenaline rush through ur veins. What I am talking? Is that the right words? Actually, I am already feeling sleepy again. That is the reason behind those nonsense. And I am typing nonsense. Before it worsen, jus wanna wish you guys......................................

GD NITEZ!! Yeah! I am totally crazy. All due to overstress at work. Arghhhhhhhhh!!

:: meeting him ::

2007-02-25T13:13:00.000+08:00

In an hour time, I will be meeting him at Century Square. And I have realised that these past weeks its always him that ask me if I wanna meet him. I used to tell him that I will never make plans when we will meet up because its always him thats busy. And later end up we have to cancel our plan. And of course I was dissappointed. But I know I have to understand his part because he is a family guy. He prioritised his family.

And now, he is the one that always make plans. I was happy though. Usually we will meet up once a week or once in two weeks. But now, end up twice or thrice a week. Mum have been complaining. Guess I will not meet him next week or in two weeks time.

Gosh. 30 more minutes but I have not even washed up. Got to go.

Have a great sunday. :)

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

:: holaa ::

2007-02-24T12:43:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I met Aisyah. We walked from Plaza Singapura to DFS. I bought a ring for him. And syah get a beg from coach. I envy her. Her mum pay for it. While I have to save for i-dnt-know how many months to get a beg there. We went to three shops but at last she managed to buy the one she likes and that was at the last shop which was at Raffles City. So imagine, from PS, to orchard road, to DFS, to wisma and lastly to Raffles City. Dah macam walking marathon. Haha.

Later around 9, I met him. He was sad. Dissappointed with his law exam. He failed again. So I asked him to meet up at Cityhall to cheer him up. Hopefully, he was happy to see me yesterday. He will retake his paper on tuesday. Do not think why you failed but focus on your paper this coming tuesday k. Gd luck dear. :)

Oh ya, last monday was my most embarrasing day of my life. I went out with julie, farha, dilah and julie's bf, hafiz. Supposed to meet at 2.30 but everyone was late except me and julie. Headed to Marina Square to watch movies. So we bought the tix first. When the show was about to start, Dilah still have not arrived yet. So we decided to go in first then when she reached there, I will pass the tix to her. After 20 minutes, dilah called saying dat she's already at the counter. So I went out from the cinema. But But But! Before I went out, I had a fall inside the cinema! It was so damn embarrasing seh. Dah mcm nangka busuk jatuh. Haha. And everyone was like "WHoah" Lucky it was dark so I guess they will not recognise my face.

So dilah, I sacrificed my knee just for you. ;p

At night, we watched the fireworks at esplanade. I guess I have seen so many fireworks till date. Haha.

Enjoy the pics taken last monday and yesterday. :)

:: is it wrong? ::

2007-02-22T14:09:00.000+08:00

Is it wrong if i give honest advices?

I gave honest advice meaning i care so much for her. But she thinks i do not understand her. I just do not want her to get hurt, thats all. Sometimes its true that do not care so much abt other people's life.

:: missing you always shadiq ::

2007-02-18T22:42:00.000+08:00

To my cute lil sumo,

Even though at these moment u do not understand what we are trying to tell u, we jus want to let u know dat we will miss u always wherever u are at the moment. u have brought laughter and smile to our family. Even though u cant tell us how u r feeling now, we know dat u r feeling sad that someone else will look after u. We felt sad too. We felt sad when we saw how sad u r yesterday before u were taken away. We saw the tears flowing down ur cheek. Even though u were not crying out loud, but we knew dat u were crying inside. I was trying to control my tears when I saw ur pure tears flow down ur cheek. I jus couldnt bear seeing ur sad face. As I was typing it now, my eyes are wet. Even though u r not my child but I love u so much shadiq. Kak edah, kak eeta, abg ijal, abg riez, mak uda, pak uda, wak tominah, cik minah, nenek will always pray for ur well being. Hope u r well taken care by ur new babysitter.

Gosh. It was only one day but I already miss u so much shadiq. We hope that we will be able to look after u like last time. :(

Before I started to cry, I should stop writting abt u, SHADIQ.

In the morning, I did household chores. Suppose to mop the floor but I didnt. I changed the curtains. (org yg sibuk sambut hari raya cina, kite lak yg sibuk mengemas) . Ou rplan to the zoo failed again. Have been postponing since like last year! Haha.

So later in the afternoon, met my cousin, her mom and my mom. Almost every week, I went out with them. We went to arab street to get stuffs for my engagement. That place look like ghost town. There isnt many people. After walking ard arab street, my mum felt hungry. So we grab some food at Kampong Glam cafe. The mee soto was superb! A must try! We sat there for an hour. Chatting away about the recent problem prob happen in my family. Haiz. Tal habis2 dgn masalah. If only u not big headed! Damn it! Someone please knock something on his head!

Tomorrow will be meeting the Kerazy Women over a cup of coffee I guess.

So gd nitez peeps.

Love ,

pHyNeLaDy

2007-02-16T23:35:00.000+08:00

3 Days have been going home late after work (includes today). Even though I was feeling tired but I have a blast with my loved ones.

Wednesday was valentine day. Didnt celebrate but wish here and there. Guess what? I gave DEAR a surprise. It was a last minute plan. Suddenly that day I felt like giving him a surprise. So during lunch time, I hurried down to Peace Centre to get A3 colour paper and colour pen. Then, headed down to photo shop to print out our photos. While I was on the way back to the office, I saw a Malay Icon, RAMLY SARIP. haha.

Finished work late, so I have little time to do the card for DEAR. I am not an art person, so I just did a simple card. Its the thought that counts right? :) My boss bought a small heart shape cake for me. So instead me eating it, I decided to give to him. Ard 7.30pm, I left office. Boss gave me a lift to Police Academy. And there, I waited alone for him for almost 30 mins! Can u believe dat? I was there alone. AND I SACRIFICED MY DANCE FLOOR. Haha. I think I missed call him for like 30 times. After a long wait, at last He answered my call. He was totally surprised that I was there all alone. But the main thing is he is happy. And I know he is happy to see me. :) Pass the stuff to him. Hope you like the simple card from me DEAR.

Manage to snap some photo with him. :)

I Love you so much dear. Am counting the days to become your wife and to have a child of our own. :)

Yesterday went to Zari's chalet. Celebrating her 21st birthday among us the Kerazy Women. :) Everyone was wearing red but not me. I have nothing in red. The food was nice. Was so hungry that we ate first before the rest. Haha. Dah mcm babi. ;p

The photos taken below will tell it all. :)

Me with zari, the birthday gal.

Posing maut si minah2 nie.

Me with hady junior. haha.leh tahan hensem jgk budak kecik nie tau.

Birthday gal and birthday cake. Didnt try it cos i was so full !

The Kerazy Women!! :)

The TP A&F Peeps!

Us again!

what's up with that hand sign, erna?

Only part of it.

Me and farha. :)

Today after work, I met DEAR. His plan was supposed to give me a surprise at work. Haha. But failed! Boo! Hehe. Cos I left work early since boss gave me some time off. But we still met up. Wanted to sit by the esplanade but then it was raining heavily like cats and dogs in the evening. So we just grab a meal at LJS cos I have not eaten since breakfast till 6pm! The workload in the office have been holding me back for lunch. Do I need to describe abt the meeting? All I could say I was having a fun time with even though it was only for 3 hours. Hope our meeting just now will make u relieve some stress at work k. :)

Nak posing aje tau.

Hey dats mine!

sweets. :)

Dnt kiss me!

His frens thought I am a mix with indian blood.

mcm aishwarya rai ade tak? hehe

*peace*

*sweet love*

Will be going for facial again tomorrow! I need to be pampered. ;)

Gd Nitez!

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

2007-02-13T21:42:00.000+08:00

I have always wanted to update my blog everyday. Whenever I switched on my computer, my main objective is to update my blog. But later I will end up surfing other webbies. Well, nothing interesting happens in my life except some ups and downs. Everyday is the same thing. Pi keje, pastu alik keje. Sometimes mcm takde life gitu seh.

I am so jealous seh whenever I see the ladies out there with their beg from COACH! I want one too! :(

I was supposed to save up my money and get one from there. But then, I have to use my funds for my engagement next month.

My short term goal

To save up some funds for 3 months and grab one bag from COACH. heez.

The latest pic - my junior sumo-alike cousin.

Aint he cute? I jus simply cant get enough of him. He can make my day after a tiring day at work. Looking at him makes him want to have a child of my own. But I have to wait 3 more years. Insyaallah. :)

Last friday, my dear came over to my house. However there's no one at home except for myself. So he sat outside my house while I was inside. Dah mcm visit org kat jail. Haha. We chatted for 45 minutes but he has to go back home. :( missing him always.

Yesterday I had a splendor dinner with my colleagues. A treat from my boss for CNY dinner. Then received ang pow from him too. Coming march will be my one year working there.

Guess what. I received a call from the HR from Singapore Police Force. I was shocked. I was called for an interview. I couldnt believe I was selected. But I felt half hearted to levae my current job if I were to get that job. Haiz...

I know its such a broing entry. Like I said, there isnt interesting things happen. But too many ups and downs. Should i say it out here? Some other time I guess. Need to call my baby. If not, he thinks playing internet is way more important than him. Haha. mcm bunga jgk deknie tau kekadang.

And ya tomorrow is Valentine day. HAPPY VALENTINE DAY!! Will not be celebrating since he is in camp rite now. But it doesnt matter to me anyway. As long we love each other. That matters alot. I LOVE U DEAR!!

wah..so long entry seh. K lah. sleepy already.

Gd nitez peeps.

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

2007-02-08T23:29:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder. Why are those chatters always share their probs with me and I am willing to listen to it but I never share what is mine? And I have came a few. Bile part masalah dgn gf lah, aru putus lah, sume chat dgn aku. Tapi lepas tu, dah dpt baru, atau masalah dah selesai, terus lesap. Nampak org online pun terus tak tegur.

I do not know why I posted such entry. Haiz.

:: YAWN!!! ::

2007-02-08T17:40:00.000+08:00

TIME CHECK : 5.41 P.M

19 more minutes and I am heading back home. Yeah!! Wondering why I am blogging at this time? Finish my work? NO! Its because I am too sleepy to continue with my work. My bed is calling me.

So had a lunch date with aisyah. Balik2 dgn dier aje. Hehe. I went out for lunch at 1.15 pm and I am back at 3.15 pm. Haha. I took 2 hours lunch. Haha. Its not dat I was taking my own sweet time, but I have to come by my client's shop at Riverwalk to collect some documents from them.

So I had KFC for lunch. We were chatting away. And at last I told her a secret which I have been keeping in my heart for such a long time. I wont say it out here because it involves someone else. Aisyah is crazy! She is more MENTEL now. Just couldnt stop talking about the Singapore soccer players. Haha.

I was stupid! I took taxi back to the office but I have forgotten to ask for receipt. And now I could not claim my $6 .My $6 is gone now. :(

Tomorrow, I have to come by to Sikh Temple at Bukit Merah there. Its above the Cantonment Road. I do not really like to go there. I do not know why. So the boss will be leaving the company and there are some discrepancies he needs to clarify with me. Gosh. I already have so much workload in the office now. But then, I have not been doing their accounts for like 4 months. So I have forgotten abit about their accounts. Will be having difficulties tomorrow I guess.

TIME CHECK : 5.52

PACKING TIME!! YEAH!! Hey bed, I am coming home. Need to catch some sleep. I am toooooooo sleeeeepyyyy!!!

Chiow!

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

:: date on wednesday ::

2007-02-07T19:52:00.000+08:00

Today, I have a date with my TV!! wakakaka. From 8-11, cool shows will be playing on Ch 5 and Suria.

1) 8p.m - The Dancae Floor

2) 9.30p.m - Tetangga (last episode) on Suria (hey, this show is so damn funny)

3) 10 p.m - American Idol

6 more minutes to 8. Have my dinner first. And have my date with my darling tv. Yeehaa.

Chiow!!

Good Nitez!!

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

P.S. I AM MISSING HIM SO BADLY!!!!

2007-02-06T21:05:00.000+08:00

It took me 10 minutes to type out this opening line. This has been going on for the past few days. And that is why I have not been updating my blog. Everytime, I'm in this page, I am just too plain lazy to update my blog.

I can multi-task.And that's what I did too at work. Do my work and at the same chat with my frens too. Hehe.And thats y some of the chatters thought I am too free at wORK. Haha.

And rite now, I am chatting with my new friend, a CID officer, while I'm blogging here.

Last saturday was all girls outing with my aunt, my cuzzie and my mum. Wanted to bring my mum to catch a movie on that day but cancelled. So we went to vivovity with my aunt and my cousin. Had our super-licking and super-deliciuos dinner at Earl swensen.

Then, on Sunday, I watched the soccer match with my aunts and uncles. And my fiancee was there too!! But he managed to watch the first half as he has to go back to camp. At last I get to seem HIM after a long time. Hilang sikit rasa rindu. Hehe. But he is getting darker and darker like a bangla. Hehe. Sorry dear... :)

I was on leave yesterday. Took it just for my mum. Spent a little time with her. Do not want her to complain me always spend more time with my friends.

Today, when I reached office, read my email, and there a long list of work to be done while my boss was away.

Even though work is pilling up, I did not do much work today. I was still in the mood of holiday. And I actually was surfing and chatting the whole day. I know. I am a bad example of an employee.

I am too tired man. Need some sleep. Will try to update ya. Gd nitez people.

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

2007-02-01T21:54:00.000+08:00

I chatted with this gal in Anakmelayu.com recently. This is how the conversation goes......

She : ARE YOU OPEN MINDED?

Me : open minded in what way? why are u asking?

She : because banyak minah tudung skrng open minded

Me : ya. but some people cume ade this one definition of open minded. and that is SEX TALK. mcm takde benda lain. but open minded has different meaning. that is can talk anything under the sun. and not being conservative.

She : cause last week my adik kenal2 ngan ni minah tudung sampai dia bawak balik rumah me introduce kat me

Me : oh. and what happens after dat?

She : pas me nak masuk bilik...me main com...pas tu me ngar org ngah main skali check my adik jilat puki minah tudung tu ngan kain di tarik ke atas

Me : oh ok. hmm. entah ehk. hmmm...

She : my adik dah bogel cuma minah tudung ni kain dia aje dia buka

Me : oh ok

She : me nginti aje cause me pun tk tahan ngok my adik punya jilat

Me : so?

She : my adik nampak me korek my pussy

Me : so y r u telling me?

She : saja aje

So I just ended the conversation by ignoring her. WTH is she telling me all these. Sh thinks I may get turn ON easily. a big NO-NO! Or she wants me to listen to her sexual fantasy? Yucks!!!

:: misses ::

2007-02-01T10:08:00.000+08:00

I miss someone so badly.

I just couldnt stop thinking about him every minute.

He makes me tingle whenever he came into my mind.

He makes my heart beat so fast.

The more I see his photo, the more I miss him so badly.

I couldnt stand it anymore.

I want him so badly.

Baby, please come to me. :(

:: yo yo yo ::

2007-01-30T21:14:00.000+08:00

Wow. Time pass so damn fast. Its coming to the end of the first month in 2007.

A week pass and i have not been updating my blog. All i can say, I have been so DAMN busy with my work. Everyday, I would come in at 8 and left ard 7. Even on saturday, I worked from 8 till 3pm. And guess what, my boss gave me 2 movie vouchers. Am not sure when I have the time to catch a movie. 4 people in mind to bring along when I'm goin to catch a movie. 1) Aisyah, 2) Ita, 3) My fiancee, 4) My mum (yes my mum. I told her i got 2 movie vouchers, then she asked me to tag her along. But horror movies ar)

Last friday was a very STRESSFUL day for me. I even raised my voice at my client. I just couldnt control myself. I'm trying to finish another client of mine accounts, but this client keep calling me asking too many ques. Ask to change dat lah, nie lah. She even asked me to take out one amount from the balance sheet but do not know where to debit. Stupid. If not, ur accounts will not balance. Then, her boss talked to me and telling me to ask her which account to debit whenever i do their accounts. Then might as well go and do urself! This company never fails to give me a headache every month. Because of them, I almost quitted my job when I first join in. And I couldnt believe that I cried at work after the conversation btw me and her boss ended.

Yeah!! The maid has finally arrived. She will look after my grandma now. But that does not mean that I will not look after my grandma anymore. I will, once in a while. Only that, I could go out on weekends without worrying who will look after my grandma.

Almost a month i did not meet him. Yes 1 DAMN MONTH!! But I'm already used to it. But I MISS HIM SO DAMN BADLY!!!

Gosh. A long entry. Well, uploaded the new skin. Simple and nice.

Time check : 9.56pm. And guess what. I have not washed since I reached home at 7. I'm still in my green baju kurung. Haha. Got to wash up first.

Have a good day ahead tomorrow. :)

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

:: untitled ::

2007-01-22T18:41:00.000+08:00

Today, I am on MC. Wasnt feeling well when I woke up in the morning. I was planning to fast today. After had my meal, I took a nap for a few minutes. I woke up in sudden and that caused me feeling so giddy. After my morning prayers, I started to vomit. I think twice if I should see the doctor. I was about to leave the house and suddenly, I wanted to vomit again. Final Decision : Not to go to work.

During the consultation with the doctor, he asked me if I missed my menses. He said that in this kind of situation, he was afraid that I could be pregnant. I laughed the moment he said that. Haha. How can I be pregnant if I do not have any sexual intercourse before. Wakaka.

So last saturday, I went for a facial with Ita. First time doing it. My aunt asked me to go. They are having promotion for facial @ $48. Usual price $68. Heard of Whiteskin USA? That's the one. It was good. There's difference after doing the facial. My whiteheads are gone now. So me and Ita planned to go for another facial next month. Hehe. We want to make a point that every month we should go facial. Need to pamper ourselves, u know.

That day my cutie lil sumo was at home. Yeah. But went i reached home, he was already asleep. Couldnt play with him. But in the morning at 4, I slept with him. That nottyy boy. At 5, he already woke up playing with himself. I was too tired that I slept. Did not play with him. Hehe. I love him so much!!! Enjoy the photos of this little monster. heez.

I didnt meet him last saturday. :( But he came down to my house to meet my mum.

GTG. Need to upload the skin for Ita's blog. Ita, kena blanja once u have the new skin k. Hehe.

Good nitez people.

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

:: it hurts me to see you cry ::

2007-01-18T22:15:00.000+08:00

It really hurts me deep inside to see my loved one cried when I came back from work. I forced myself to smile. I do not want to make the situation worst by giving her my glum face. Only HE knows how I am feeling inside.

While I was working, I received an MMS from him with a message saying, " Kalo rindu, tgk pic nie. "

GOSH! Tak ku sangka they deknie macho jgk seh. Makin aku rindu kat dier tgk nie gbr.

So I replied him and MMS him my picture. Sweet flying kisses for you. Hehe.

My lappie at work.

So was browsing through my phone and I saw this video clip. Enjoy! A must watch. A cutie little sumo in action. Hehe.

I miss this little sumo so much. It has only been five days since I last saw him.

Tomorrow will be leaving office early. Ard 4. Will be heading to Singapore Expo to celebrate the Islamic New Year.

To ALL Muslims, SELAMAT MENYAMBUT MA'AL HIJRAH 1428 .

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

:: savings :

2007-01-17T22:55:00.001+08:00

I really need to save!! I cant spend anymore. Guess what. During lunch time, i visited Topshop and get another top from there. That will be the last thing i spent on for this month. wheee...

So was the surfing the net just now. Thinking of opening another bank account specially for my savings. Then, I saw some investment thingy. Thinking of investing my money or maybe my CPF Funds. Hmm. Need to research more on that. I used to study about investment and bla, bla, bla. But it never came useful to me now cos i totally dnt remember a SINGLE thing about it. Haha.

Well, well, well. I really do not want to say this but I MISS HIM so MUCH!! I know i say this in every entry. But I cant stand it. Cant wait for this saturday to meet him. heez.

Nitez People. Have a good day ahead tomorrow.

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

:: hAppy aNNiversary ::

2007-01-16T21:08:00.000+08:00

Happy 1 year and 8 months anniversary to me and dear!

Time pass so fast. I felt like it was only yesterday we got to know each other. Our love blossom day by day (even though we quarrel alot) . I will not be so mushy here. Its btw me and him. I just hope we will pull through all the obstacles together till we are happily married. Love you alot dear. And i miss u LOADS!

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

:: Dnt!! ::

2007-01-16T13:41:00.000+08:00

Do not do this at work!!

Blogging while working. And furthermore at clients' office. Haha.

Need some time away from those files. So do some blogging here. Rite now, I am at Kallang Way. Usual monthly visit to do their accounts. Am not goin to blog about my work but one of the staff here. Hehe.

She asked me if we, Muslims, are allowed to wear sexy close like what she is wearing rite now. She wore a see through blouse. And can see HER TURQOISE BRA! Not a full cup bra but a half cup bra. And can see her half breast! Haha.

I am bad. Supposed to do work but talking about the staff here. Hehe. If my boss were to find out abt this, confirm he will cut my pay! Hehe.

How am i feeling now today?Hmm. Much more better than few days ago. Not trying to think too much though. Haiz. Only HE knows how am i feeling now. :(

During lunch, was surfing Jobsdb.com. Not looking for any job vacancy for myself but for Aisyah. Then, i saw Cisco Security needs a Finance Executive. Should i give it a try? Since my guy works there too as Cisco Auxiliory Police Officer. hmm.

Working time! Need to go back to do my stuff here.

Have a nice day everyone.

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

P.S. :: Missing him badly ::

:: updates ::

2007-01-15T22:27:00.000+08:00

Its been almost 3 days i have not updated my blog. Lots of things happen. Should i say it out here? Guess not. All i can say i am totally stress out with my family prob and heavy workload at work.

Friday, 12 Jan 07

Working as usual. Was raining heavily. One account down. 1 more Account left for GST reporting. But that does not include other accounts for year end reporting. Gosh. Went out for lunch with Betty. Had my lunch at Coffee Bean. Treat her a drink for helping me out with the accounts. Thanks Betty !

After work, met up with my LOVELY galfrens ard 7.45pm. Had our dinner at cahaya restaurant at Far East. We took almost 15 mins to figure out to what eat. One is on diet, so deciding on what dat does not have much calories. Another was complaining so hungry, but when at the restaurant do not know what to eat. I only ordered Nasi Katil. One of the specialities. So i tried it out. Not bad. My food was last served. So we were joking ard that the cookers were frying the rice on a bed. Nasi Katil means Bed rice. Haha. Funny rite. Wonder how they got that name. Well, after dinner, walk ard far east, and by that time it was already 9, so it was closing time for most shops.

my four lovely galfrens. Love you guys loads!!

Did not went home straight. Sleep over at my aunts' place. As usual i have to look after my grandma on weekends.

Saturday, 13 Jan 07

Stayed at my aunts' place looking after my grandma and my little cutie, chubby, sumo alike cousin. Yeah. He is so damn cute. He is so irresistable.

Isnt he cute? Dats my grannie carrying him. And yes, he is so damn heavy. He is almost 10 kilos but he is only 6 mths old. Him in his pyjamas while i was getting ready to feed him for breakfast.

Yes. I spent my weekends looking after my grannie and him at times. I dont feel bored. I enjoyed every little minute spent with my grannie and my cousin eventhough sometimes she gets on my nerves. Hehe.

I went home ard 9.30 because the next day my guys' family coming over to merisik (i'm not sure what's dat called in english. heez)

My cousin , Riez, supposed to get a new hp but to no avail. He sold his phone and went home with nothing. Haha. Wanted to get K800i but then its out of stocks. Then, wanted to get like mine w850i, but then they were selling at such a high price at $468 but i only get it at $368. hmmmm..

Sunday, 14 Jan 07

The day has come. First thing in the morning ard 8, went out with my dad and met my mum at Geylang and treat them breakfast. I bought a baju kebaya at $40. I wasnt planning to get that actually. But then, my guys' family coming so am not sure what to wear, so i get that.

its dark.

Then ard 11.30, went jemputan with my aunt, cousin, and uncle.

Ard 4, his family came. Almost 10 of them. But should i say more about it? I dnt think so. I cant say much. Really. All i can say i am confused. Thats all. Too personal for me to say it out here i guess.

Today, 15 Jan 07

I took full day leave today to relieve my stress. Went out my bestie, Aisyah. We went shopping. Or should i say only me dat shop today. Aisyah became my bodyguard for today. Kan syah. hehe. We were supposed to meet like 11 am. but I was late and you know, by how many hours? By 1 and a half hours. heez.

Before meeting her, Was alone in the bus, couldnt control my tears. My tears stated to fell down my cheecks. Lucky no one saw. I am really stressful. Too many things in my mind. While wating for MRT at the platform, I was staring in space and suddenly the MRT dashed in front. I was startled. Lucky wasnt that close to the railway or there will be another case of MRT suicide. haiz.

I didnt think much while i was out with her. We talked alot. Or Aisyah is the one that talks alot today. Hehe. and I mean ALOT as in NON- STOP. hehe. so what did i buy today? Look at the pic below. :)

I almost spent $300+ today. heez. Syah, please dnt ask me out for shopping till next month k. Hehe. I need to save up lah.

Not all are mine. I get for my mum a wallet from Bonia and watch from Casio for my dad. Perfume from Escada for my beautiful cousin, Ita. Ita, jgn lupa amik kalo tak i pakai tu minyak wangi. Hehe. And the rest are mine. Heez.

Oh ya, also bought something from Topshop.

My mum says it looks like a maternity dress. Does it? hmm.

Trying out session in Topshop dressing room. heez.

Aisyah looks cute in that tights. Never see her in that kind of dressing before, so she kinda look cute in it. Hehe.

After 4 hours of shopping, had our late lunch at Pizza Hut. It was superlicious and delicious. Sat there for almost 1 hour plus eating and chatting.

We walked from Lucky Plaza to Dhoby Ghaut MRT. I took bus home while Syah took train home. I had to stand in 518 from dhoby ghaut till bedok north. Gosh. My legs are aching man. Almost forgot about So You Can Dance Finale today. Catch it in the bus.

Thats for all. Sleepy. Plan to sleep early but end up sleeping at 12am. Nitez people.

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

:: mIss hEr ::

2007-01-11T22:51:00.000+08:00

I miss her. Hope she is doing fine now. Its been a long time since i met her. The last time was during raya time. Visited her house. Hope u are happily married my dear. :)

the 2 cuties are not her children k. her cuzzie. cute kan.

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

wOOhOOOO .....

2007-01-10T23:26:00.000+08:00

At last, i managed to upload the new skin in my blog. Have been figuring out that for hours. Yelah. First time using nie benda. So ade bengap sikit pakai ni sume. Hehe. One more thing to be done. To upload music video. Guess i will do it another day.

3 more days and my bf's family will be coming to my place to merisik. Heard that some of his relatives too will be coming down to take a look at me. I told my him, cant they just take a look at my photo. Haha. So i have to be prepared. My mum wanted my aunt to come over and help out. She is afraid i might not serve his family well. Mum, i'm a big gal. You have taught me what a lady should do when there are guests coming over. Dnt worry k.

So i have been busy with work. Too many accounts to be done by end of the month. Should have seen my work desk, loaded with client's file. Gosh. Since i was promoted to Senior Accounts Executive, my boss have been assigning me quite a number of accounts. Lucky, there's Betty. At least I could ask her to help me out with the data entries. Thanks Betty! Will treat you lunch one day. ;p Oh ya, thats after one month rite. Cos u r on diet. Hey, u r not fat k. I am supposed to be the one on diet not you.

Talking about losing weight. I NEED to lose some weight before the engagement day. At least during secondary school times, I was actived in various sports. But since i left sec school, I seldom exercise. And YES! I have put on so much weight. I want my old figure back desperately! :( Guess i am not that disiplined. Ni slale case semangat seminit je. Haha.

Sleeping time.... zzzzzzzzz

Love,

pHyNeLaDy

:: in confused and stress state at the moment ::

P.S : I MISS HIM SO BAD... :(

:: unexpected things ::

2007-01-09T09:25:00.000+08:00

I should say my first week of the new year 2007 was a great start for me. On the first day of work (3rd Jan 07), i received good news from my boss.Received pay increment by $200! Wasn't really expecting this. Seriously. I mean i have been working there for only 10 months to date. I even planned to tender my resignation by end of the Jan or Feb. Even before i wanted to, my boss already increased my pay. And yes i will received my bonus too with my Jan salary on the first week of Feb. Am really excited about it. Me and aisyah already planned to grab a beg from Coach. heez.

I received an application form from the Singapore Police Force for the position of Management Support Officer. I will try my luck there. My parents were really hoping for me to get that job especially my dad. He was the one so excited about it. He even help me out to find my certs. Haha. Kept asking whether i already sent out the application form.

Here comes the most unexpected part. Went out with my guy last sat (06/01/07). Went to vivocity. Met his friends there. But before meeting them, me and him sat outside. We went to the third level. There, he started to hold my hand and asking for forgiveness for all his wrongdoings in our almost 2 years relationship. Ape sak deknie minta ampun nie sume. Haha. so i juz go with the flow. :)

Then he started to stare into my eyes and out of sudden , he PROPOSED to me. i was like " what?" Gosh. My tears started to flow down my cheeks. I wasn't expecting this. I was so touched . I mean I'm only 20 (coming 21). And this guy wants to start his life with me. Who loves me with all his heart.

And to my surprise, my parents already knew abt this all this while. Gosh.

To Dear, i love you too. I will try to be Ur future good wife to be. Gosh. cant believe I'm going to get engaged soon. Heez.

Till here. First time blogging. Will try to update my blog ya. Heez.

Love,

pHyNeLaDy