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I really hate this kind of feeling.
All I want is just to sort things out with u. And settle things amicably. But u have been ignoring me for days. I do not like it if I am the one that has to keep calling and msging u but there isnt any reply from u. Dnt u feel irritated by my so many missed calls? If you do not want me anymore, just tell me off! And I promise I will try not to contact you again.
I knew it was my fault. I knew I shoudnt have just return those rings to u just like that. But I was totally shattered to hear those words from your sister. I couldnt take it anymore. Why must she interfere in our problem? Why cant we just settle it on our own?
I dnt like things hanging on just like this. Many people told me to ignore and not to call or msg u for the moment. But I cant! I cant take it if i didnt hear from you for a day. Yes. I admit that I cant live without u. I am not firm.
But I guess I have to adapt with it now. No matter how hurts my heart is.
But I do not want us to become enemies. Like how we got together nicely, I want it to end in a nice way.
But of course, deep in my heart, I do not want to let you go. But if letting it go solves the problem, I have no choice but to let you go.
I guess what Bibik said is true. "In life, everyone will once feel the loss of someone they truly love."
I guess I have to go through it now.
I am currently heartbroken and shattered.
I have been listening to Fazli Zainal's hit song "HARAPAN".
"Doaku agar kaukan selalu bahagia,
Agar kau temui insan tulus menyayangimu,
Lepaskanlah diriku kerna keredhaanmu,
Bukan kerna dendam jua bukan kerna kau terpaksa,
Ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu,
Kuundur diri bersama harapan.
Chorus :
Tidak kesampaian cinta kita,
Kubawa harapan kupendam rahsia,
Ku dikejauhan mendoakan,
Agar kau bahgia tiada lagi duka.
Daku rela mengundur diri,
Ku pasti dikaukan fahami …
Tiada penyesalan kasihku korbankan
Andai telah tertulis kuterima ini bukannya kupinta,
Oh pergilah dikau diiringi keikhlasanku,
Cuma pengalaman mengisi kekosongan mimpiku…"
It exactly describes what I feel now.
This song had been playing repeatedly in my mp3 since last night.
I cant sleep last night, so I finished up some work I brought home from the office.
I stayed up till 1.30am listening to the song while doing my work.
I cried.
I really do not know how all this happen. I really do not want this to happen. After what had happened the previous night, my heart bleed so much. Everything was so unexpected.
No doubt for whatever had happened, deep down, I still miss him alot like hell.
But I guess there is a reason for whatever had happened.
Ya Allah, please give me strength and guidance to the right path and so that I can make a wise decision.
P.S. Aisyah, please come back quick. Aku dah rindu kau. :(
