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I just came back from the hospital 20 minutes ago. Mum was admitted to the hospital again. This time around it was more serious. She has to undergo an operation immediately. As at 12.45 am, the operation is still in progess. She has been in the operation theatre for almost 4 hours. I really hope everything will be ok.
My aunts and uncle told me to go home first. So my cousin drove me home. But now I cant fall asleep. I am still waiting for a call from CGH. But till now I have not received any call from them. I am still worried about mum. I really wish I could be by her side now.
When I came to work today, I already felt so down. But I do not know why. Maybe due to my work that has been piling up. And I felt something wasnt right when I left the house for work this morning. Mum complained that her stomach wasnt feeling good. I told her to go and have a rest first and not to do the housework. But I guess she is still stubborn that she continued to clean up the house and do the laundry. Mum is still mum. They just cant see the house being so messy that they will still clear the house eventhough they are already sick.
Ard 10 am, my brother called and asked if I could take half day and look after mum. I cant promise him because I was on medical leave the day before, and somemore I was supposed to be on duty for the YL match. I thought mum's condition wasnt so serious until my bro called again that mum has been vomitting and she cant even stand on her feet. That worries me so much that when I wanted to ask boss if I could take half day leave, my eyes are already so teary.
I really hate it when I cried. I tried to control myself but I cant. I guess I am born being a cry baby.
I quickly rushed home. I cabbed home and my tears started to fell down my cheecks non-stop. I am sad. Why does my mum have to go through so much? Why cant she lead a happy life? Why cant she be like other mum's? Why does she always have to suffer?
I really do not want to lose her now. I need her now. I want to give her the happiness she has been lacking of all this while. I do not want her to suffer anymore. I want to repay all her good deeds for being such a strong mother and father in my family.
I doubt so I can be like mum. She is such a strong woman. And I know she can go through this operation.
The most saddest part when Mum told my fiancee just now when he came to see my mum at home that to look after me if she is no longer in this world.
I really cant take it. I have to stop here. As I type this entry, my tears cant stop falling down my cheeks.
I am sorry to post this kind of entry. This is the only way I can let out how I feel at this moment.
I am having a terrible headache since yesterday till now. My fault too because I did not take any medication last night before I went to bed. This migraine started to come by when I started talking to a fren of mine about my current problem. Or should I say my very long and never ending problem. Haiz. Dnt wish to talk about it or my head will burst sooner or later.
I really hope HE can grant me strength and patience to keep me going and alive in this world.
I am having a terrible toothache too. I am afraid if there's a wisdom tooth growing inside.
Everything is so terrible... Haiz....
There's netball training tonight. Yes. I have started playing netball again. Once a week. Organized by my company. But there is no change in me. I'm still the same. No weight loss. hehe. I brought all my stuff. But with my terrible headache now, I'm not sure if I will be going or not.
Ohh... I am so bored.. Dnt mind this boring entry of mine....
Have a good day people! I hope mine is good too.. Haiz....
4 days of holidays have passed and tomorrow will be another day at work. I am so lazy to go to work nowadays. I do not know why. Tons of work to be done. I will try to go to work early tomorrow morning and leave my workplace at 6pm sharp. I do not want to stay at work late everyday again like how i used to.
Anyway, today was spent looking for Ita's smart pants for her tomorrow's first day of internship. Then we went to watson to get some toiletries for myself. I was looking for sanitary pads and we were around the condom's section. These is how the conversation goes:
Ita: Idah, tu condom.
Me: Nanti time nak kawin, i likan utk mann tu for the hantaran ehk. Utk kai for first nite.
Ita: Huh? Uat ape?
Me: Jadi tk pregnant dulu.
Ita: HAHAHHAAHA.
Me: I tak ingat ar i nye maxi or ape ehk.
Ita: U li maxi ar. U nyer tu besar.
Me: Macam siak ar!!!
Ita: Hahahahaha
When we wanted to leave that section, we turned around and saw a Malay staff was standing quite near to us. We started to laugh so hard cos maybe that gal could have eavedropping on our conversation. Hahahahahaha.
Life have been ups and down nowadays. What with my relationship with him and my problem at home. Can i run away from here? Sometimes, I felt that my head goin to burst soon.
And where can i get 70k plus of money? Can someone please donate me to settle mum's debt with the bank? Shit lah.
Do not want to think so much about it. We just couldnt find any solution to it. Haiz.
Dilah will be leaving soon for Melbourne. I am sure going to miss her alot. The past few weeks, I have been spending alot of time with her and aisyah. Both of them have been there for me when i was down. Really love you two alot. Love my other babez too k. hehe. So dilah will be there for 2 weeks i guess. No gossiping with her. No movies with her. Haiz. Please come back soon k. Dah macam matair sak! HAHAHA.
Last week, I met my babes. It has been awhile since we last met. Since herna's bbq at east coast i think. But i missed the updating-on-life session when we usually had during our lunch. That meeting wasnt enough for me. We need to meet up soon k.
I think thats about all. So gd nitez and have a good week ahead. I am counting the days to weekend! Hehe.
