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So it has been almost a month plus and I have yet got my menses. I know its too personal. So ita told me maybe I am so stress. Yes. I am indeed very stress. Stress with my current life. Sometimes, I felt like running away from life. Running away from people around me. Run away to somewhere I do not know anyone. To have some peace of mind. But I know, no matter where I ran away, I still cant get away from life and my problems.
Therefore, I have to be stong to go through all obstacles in life and find a solution to every problems. I really hope so I am able to go through all that. May ALLAH give me all the strength and guidance to lead my life. Amin.
Went to the zoo this morning with my galfrens. But I do not think I would like to update now. I am too tired. Maybe tomorrow or monday when I have the time.
Anyway, to my galfrens, thanks for the gift. I appreciate it alot.
Tag replied.
Neechaa: Harlow! U can add me at phynegal@hotmail.com. Cya there. :)
Sha: Aku dah alik!! Penat sak. Ko nak pi spa on sat? Aku tgh pokai oi. Mane leh kai duit ko when it is ur birdae that day. Unless u pay for me as my belated birdae prezzie. ;p Anyway, aku mane ade dibelai. Ko ni pun! Dnt worry, nanti aku dah start keje kat FAS, I will keep a lookout for cute, hottie soccer player for you ehk. And they can belai u as much as u want. ;)
ITA!! Cant wait to give you a surprise tomorrow! Hope you will enjoy it tomorrow. :) Love ya!!
I failed my basic theory test like 2 years ago. And I have yet to retake it. I just do not have the time. Maybe I will register in few weeks time. For practical lessons, I will be taking private lessons. Maybe the one that Adilah and Amira took. So starting from tomorrow, I will start to workout my body. Every morning. I have to. Everyone has been saying that I am getting fatter. :( 24 more days to our 2 years anniversary. Maybe I will plan something. Maybe not. Because he do not like to celebrate anniversaries. Unless we are already married, then it is necessary. Almost 9pm. I need to catch "Janji Diana" at RTM 2. So gd nitez peeps. Have a great day ahead tomorrow. :)I was having a conversation with dear in the afternoon for an hour plus. And I was telling him he was getting darker now. This is how the conversation goes:
Me: Dear, u are getting darker seh now.
Him: Iyeke? I rasa you sorg aje yang kata gitu. My frens sume kat keje tak kata I gelap pun.
Me: Maybe ur frens tak honest. Cume nak amik hati u. At least i am honest rather than puji u cerah tapi belakang u i kata u gelap.
Him: *silence*
Me: So wat did ur frens say?
Him: My frens kata walaupun i gelap i tetap hitam manis.
Me: *Laughing like hell* wakakaka. Isnt gelap means dark? They only say u hitam manis but they didnt say u cerah. Hahahaha.
He is so cute. I was laughing like a mad person when he said that. So I was recommending him to apply some whitening cream. I'm going to buy him some facial stuffs for him tomorrow. He needs to look after his face you see. He is so prone to breakouts.
Besides him getting darker, I told him he needs to cut his hair short. His hair now looks like a bird nest. Hehehe. He looks better bald.
On a totally different note, there are some short term goals I need to achieve.driving licenselose some weight (i am so damn fat now but he claims i'm hot. wakaka. buta agaknyer dektu.hehe)cash cash cash ;)
I miss shadiq so much seh. I have not seen him since the day he was taken care by his own parents. Cik yah no longer look after him. Since both his parents want to re-marry, cik yah decided to give shadiq back to his parents. I cant asked my uncle to bring shadiq home because I am too sure that shadiq's mum will not allow. She hates us so much. Wonder why. It should be the other way round. It should be us hating her because she was the one that creates problems. But who cares! I do not give a damn to this kind of people. She is the 2nd person in my hated list after my another uncle and auntie. Yes. I hate my another uncle and auntie. They did not treat mum good and I will never respect them. These arrogant people! Just simply hate them.
Anyway, these video was shot few days before Shadiq left cik yah's home. I watched it almost everyday or whenever I miss him so much. Enjoy!!
Its close to 1.30 am but I have not slept yet. I met dear today. To celebrate my belated birthday. Well, this year my birthday as per normal. Nothing special about it. I do not really feel excited about it. Instead, I have been down these past few days. Even I met him today, we had a tiff quite a couple of times. As usual, we make it up after a while. We catch a movie today. Wild hogs. That movie was damn funny lah. A must watch. Me and him was laughing throughout the movie. And I think we laughed the loudest. I even got choked on my ice lemon tea and vomitted on his pants. Haha. After that, we went to the mosque to perform our prayers first before we had our dinnner. We had hokien noodle and fishball noodle at Far east. He sent me home around 11 pm just now. Then I thanked him for spending his time with me eventhough he is tired after his night shift. He has not slept yet since yesterday. And tomorrow he is working morning shift. I made him pissed off a couple of times today. Not being appreciative. I admitted it was all my fault. Being too sensitive. Expecting so much from him. Not being understanding towards him. I breakdown and cried infront of him before he left for home. I told him how much stress I am right now with my life. Trying to cope with my life. There are so many things on my mind. Trying to figure out how to help mum to solve her problem. How hurt I am to see mum working so hard to pay off her debts. How hurt I am to see mum complaining how tired she is. How hurt I am to see mum cried everyday thinking of how to solve her problem. Dad is not here to give her a support. She only has me. I am trying my best not to give her any problems or hurt her. But sometimes I admitted I did raised my voice at her because I am too stressed with work and life. I did not show her how hurt I am seeing her working so hard at her old age. But I told her, all this are obstacles from Allah to test us how strong we are. Whether we are able to handle all this from HIM. Bak pepatah, "Mungkin ade hikmah disebalik ini semua." Maybe we are not lucky like other people. But mum, please remember that there are always other people that are more miserable than us.Today was the first time I cried endlessly infront of him. I am so grateful to have you to lend a shoulder to cry on. All this while I have no one to depend on but to cry all alone. To my dearest Maidin,"I am so sorry all this while I have been making you so pissed off, making you so worried about me.. I am so sorry I have not been so understanding towards you. But eventhough I treated you badly sometimes, you never fail to love me more. You taught me to be strong. You taught me not to lose hope. You never fail to make me happy when I am down. You never fail to make me smile. I should be lucky to have you as my guy. You are my best friend, you are my lover, you are my enemy. :) I love you so much dear. I will try my best to give you as much love to you. I know I have not been so caring and loving towards you all this while. You have been so patient with me. I will always treasure you so much dear." He was telling me that " It doesnt matter if some of your friends do not remeber your birthday as long as your loved ones do." And he is right. At this moment, my loved ones are the most important people in my life especially my family. K k. I know I am being too emotional today. Anyway, I have good news. I already secured a job. I got an offer as Finance Executive at Football Association of Singapore. I actually went for the interview on my birthday itself. During the interview, the interviewer was telling me that he was not convinced why he should employ me. From there, maybe I have the feeling l wil not get that job. So I wasnt hoping so much for it. However, when they gave me a call this afternoon, I was shocked, What mum said is true. Sometimes the one that we least expected, we will get it. So I will start that job around 20th may.Time for sleep. Need to call him up. Good nitez peeps. :) Have a great weekend. 
We cancelled our plan to the car rental shop today. All due to my selengehness. I was so "pekak" (claimed by dear) that I did not asked the owner of the shop whether they are opened today. Lucky, before we got ready, dear called the owner and was informed that they are not opened today. Haha. So dear told me that I was "pekak" and he do not trust my info anymore. Haha. How should I know whether they are opened or not. Blueek! But we still see each other today. He came over to my house for awhile. Mum has cooked chicken curry and packed some for him. SO that he can eat it during his break time. he was working night shift today anyway. He is so damn lucky to get a future mum-in-law that cares so much about him. He is aware of that, that he once said that my mum is much more caring towards him than me. Hehe. I know, I know. Sometimes I did not show him how much I care about him but that does not mean I do not care about him. I still do and always do, my love. :)
Today's shopping spree was totally unplanned. Initially, aisyah asked for a meet up. But then, she cant make it. So I met dilah. We met after work. Headed to Alfalah mosque to perform our prayers first, then we proceed to Far East Plaza.
My plan was to find a birthday present for my brother. Anyway, he turns 30 this year. The moment we reached Far East Plaza, there were so many things that I wanted to buy. Before that, dilah told me that I should buy at least one. But I do not want to. Now, instead of getting a present for my bro, I ended up buying things for myself. I bought 2 dresses, a red handbag, a bangle and a watch, all together costs me around $80. It was worth it right. I wanted to grab a red shoe but too bad, there isnt any size for me. For your info, I wore a size 9 or 10. I know its big. Haha. Thats why sometimes I hate finding shoes for myself.
I promised myself not to shop anymore after this. So much of saving up. But today I already spent a sum.
So tomorrow maybe I will meet up with him to rent a car for next friday on the 20th. He planned to spend the whole day with me to celebrate my belated birthday. I already applied leave on thursday and friday. Its going to be a long weekend next week. Will not be working from thursday to sunday. Yahooo!!! ;D
Almost 1 am. Need my beauty sleep. Gd nitez peeps. :)
Anyway, I wanna wish my bro, Mohd Jufri,A Happy 30th Birthday!!!Semoga dimurah rezki and panjang umur selalu.And menjadi anak yang soleh dan bertanggungjawab.Amin.
I was already late for work. But my stomach was giving some problems. I need the toilet so badly. Usually, I will just do my business at home. I do not care if I was late or not. But today I cant make myself late. All because of the new girl in my company. She does not have the office key. Only me and betty. But betty will not be in the office in the morning. So die die I must make it to the office before 9 am.
No choice, I have to hail a cab. And from Tampines to Selegie road, it costs me $16.30! And that can actually last me for my one whole week lunch. Pokai lah aku cam gini selalu.
I really need to save up. I have noticed that at every end of the month, I am always broke. Sometimes, I wonder where does all my money goes to. I am not a really big spender. Do I? Hmm.
Back to work! I am freezing here. That new girl was seated in the same room as me. Aku yang berselubung sejuk giler, dier yg kudut, pakai baju t-shirt gitu aje, masih rasa panas. Heran betul. Haha. Usually, I do not really switch on the aircon. Only for awhile. To cool down the room. But with her in the room now, I guess I have to bear with it.
A message received from dear, "Nw i'm otw dtg tmpt keje u. Leh jumpa u?"
And that makes my day. :) A simple thing like this can make my day after a long day at work.
I am a little excited now. Waiting anxiously for him. I cant wait to meet this tall giraffe! Hehe.
So before lunch, boss was asking if I am really leaving the company. I told him I will reconsider about it and give him an answer in a week or two. At last, I told him honestly why I am leaving the job. Its because I do not want to travel to client's place anymore. I just want to stay in the office. He then said' "U silly girl. Why didnt you want to tell me earlier? I thought you do not mind at all."
Then, he was telling me that most probably, they will move out to a new office at Clarke Quay. And that actually makes me think twice if I should resign or not. Actually, another reason why I wanted to leave was because of the work environment. They do not have a proper office. Few weeks ago, they told me they might be moving out to an apartment at Kovan. And I do not favour it. Hey, working environment do plays a part.
I am still waiting for a reply from MAS. I called them yesterday and they said that the process will take place for a week or two. Hopefully, I will be selected. Insyaallah.
10 more minutes to 6. Need to pack my stuff and meet my tall giraffe!
Have a great evening peeps! :)
I have been wanting to update this. Last friday, I had a blast with Aisyah. Everything was a last minute plan. We went sentosa!! I went out as early as 9 am. It was so pack there. And there were so many changes. It was getaway for both us from all the stress at work. And we tried out the skyride. Well, it was the first time for me. And I was fidgeting while I was on the skyride. It was nerve wrecking. Imagine if that thing fall. OMG!! Haha.
We were at the beautiful island for almost 2 hours. Then, we headed back to vivo city to had our lunch. Syah bought a blouse. We patronized almost every shop there. Our legs were aching, so we decided to have some dessert at Coffee Club. We had fruity fondue. It was ok. I think if i made it on my own at home is much more worth it. Haha.
Then, we had our hair cut!! At far east plaza. It was a last minute thingy because we do not know what else we want to do. Anyway, it was only 10 bucks. 
I wanna go to sentosa again. I wanna swim there. hmmmmm.......That's for all now. Gd nitez!! :)
Yesterday, I received a call from Monetary Authorty of Singapore (MAS) . I was told that I was shortlisted for an interview this coming thursday!! I was excited. I didnt expected to be shortlisted though.
10 minutes later, my boss came into the office. I knew I have to do it. To pass him my resignation letter. I was reluctant actually. But I want to try something else. In new environment. Better exposure.
Before passing him the letter, we gave him a belated birthday cake (shared by me, betty and audrey). Then, he was thanking us for all the hard work we had put on in the company and helps him to run it smoothly. When he said that, I felt guilty to leave the company. So far, only betty knows that I am leaving besides my other close frens and families.
30 minutes to 6 oclock. My heart was beating so fast. My hand was sweating. I was pacing ard my room. My mind was trying to figure out what to say to him. I decided to give syah a call. I told her I was nervous. But she said just passed him the letter. So after hanging up the phone, I quickly made my way to his room. Jonathon, another co-partner of the company, was there too. Boss saw me holding an envelope. He knew what was inside. The moment he saw it, he was totally dissappointed and little shocked.
We chatted for like 20 minutes. They were reluctant to let me go. But if it is for a good cause, then he is happy for me. I told him I was shortlisted for an interview at MAS. He told me to go for the interview first. He hold on to the letter first and wants me to re-consider abt it.
Well, maybe I will re-consider about it. But most probably, I will still quit. I know I am making such a rush decision and its risky to quit before securing a new job.
Speckie! Speckie! Where are you?
I have misplaced my spectacles. I was searching high and low in the morning before I went out to work. From under the bed to under the pillow to my bro's room but I still couldnt find my speckie. I remembered I placed it on my cupboard but in the morning, it was not there. Where has it gone to?
I looked at the clock and it was already 8.10 am. I'm already late for work! So I have decided to go to work without wearing my spectacles. So I called mum to look out for my speckie when she reached home from work later. She told me to be careful while crossing the road and not to board bus service no 28 instead of 23. Haha. Now, I am seeing double. Insted of 3, I will see 8. Haha. Anyway, I think I want to change my specs.
I'm not feeling well. Down with flu. Feeling feverish. All because of DEAR!! He passed me his virus! Heh.
I'm having difficulties doing work without my speckie. Soon, I will have a headache. Hope my flu will last till thursday so that I can take MC! Then, thursday-sunday will not be working. Syiok kan?!! Heheh.
Back to work!
Looks like I am going to move house again. Not yet confirmed. Mum called and said that a malay family was interested in our house and wanted to buy our house. So mum was asking me if we could buy a new flat using my name and her name. I told her that I do not want if we have to take up a bank loan. Well, honestly I do not want to. I want to have alot of cpf in my account till I got married. So that I could buy a house with my future husband in the near future. But if that can help to lessen my mum's burden, i guess i will go for it. I'm willing to do anything for her happiness. I'm willing to sacrifice anything for her. And I have discussed regarding this with dear. And he supports every decision I will make. Cos this will affect our future when we got married (Insyaallah).
I am blessed to have a wonderful and understanding bf. That is why I love you so much dear. :)
Seriously, it was such headache thinking abt this problem. This problem has been going on for years. Since I was in poly. Or since I was in secondary school I guessed. If can, I want to get this prob solved fast. So that I can continue my studies. So that I can take up a degree course. But all this has to put aside first now.
Last week I was telling mum that I planned to continue my studies next year. But mum dont seem to be encouraging me. She told me a diploma is enough. I know maybe she thought that she has to support me again. She thought that I will stop working and could not support her. But that wasnt my plan. Maybe I will take up a study loan. I will not ask her to fork out a single cent. Well, I will see. "Kite merancang, Tuhan yang menentukan. "
I have printed out the resignation letter. I have inserted it inside the envelope. All I have to do now is to pass to my boss. But right now, as being fickle minded always, I have yet to pass the letter to him. I'm still thinking if I have done the right move. Anyway, he is not in today. Still on vacation I think.
It was his birthday last saturday. Me and betty was planning to buy for him a cake today or tomorrow. So I was telling betty that I might be giving him a birthday present and that is my RESIGNATION LETTER! haha. I am sure he will get a shock.
This question has been keep playing in my mind. "Should I or should I not quit?"
