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Weekend was great. On saturday, the whole day was spent with my babez. They came over to my house. Initial plan was to visit sentosa. But it was raining heavily since morning. So we decided to just hang out at my house. We ordered pizza, played uno and watch a thai horror movie. It was sweet and simple but I enjoyed it so much especially with the lovely companion of my babez. I love you galz so much! *muakz*
Oh yes. We had mini belated birdae celebration for dilah. Dah mcm masuk meminang dilah pun ada. Coz we bought for her a ring. Its about the same like my engagement ring. Haha.
Photos will be uploaded once I have uploaded it inside my laptop. heez. I know dilah. Zari asked the wrong person to upload the pics. Hehe
Later at night, met my cousins and aunties and uncle. Since Ita already got her driving license, so she rented a car and drove us around. We went lepaking at east coast till 3.30 am! But it was fun though. It has been a long time since we did that. We sat by the beach and guess what I saw. A couple having sex lah dey. Aiyo. I think indian couple.
Sunday was spent with my family again. Ita brought us out again. And this time around, me, my dad, my grandma, my bibik, my aunties n uncle and my cousins went to Changi beach. We had dinner there. A treat from Cik Nah. We had satay, cockles, chicken rice and alot more. We had a spread.
And that sums up my great weekend.
Life has been hectic for me. Whats with work. My personal life. I almost got migraine everyday. Until yesterday, I really had a bad migraine. See a doctor and he gave me some pills for me to relax my mind. Yes. I have been thinking too much that I cried almost every nite. Until I lost focus at work. Everything seems not right.
I wish I can just run away from here. I wish to. I'm trying to be strong to move on with my life. I hope so.
I'm leaving my job soon. Partly because of some personal reasons and also to help my mum. Got a better offer. Hopefully, I could help mum to settle her debts. I cant expect mum to work so hard at her old age just to settle her debts. By right, she should be enjoying life now like other mothers. She should have grandchildren to play with.
Insyaallah, mungkin ada hikmah disebaliknya.
So gd nitez lovelies and have a great week ahead. 3 more days and TGIF!
To U,
I will always love you.
If I should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you every step of the way
Chorus:
I will always love you
I will always love you
Bitter sweet memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So goodbye, please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you need
(Chorus)
I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you dreamed of
And I wish you joy and happiness
But above all this I wish you love
The perfect song for me at this moment.
It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through
Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok
[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok
[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is
I'll be fine without you
Yes I will
[Chorus: X2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
.
.
.
.
.
.
And to you, these past two months have been a rollercoster for us. I respect your decision. N i know its my fault. If only I could turn back time. I am really sorry for what I have done to you. But please remember, for whatever has happen, deep down in my heart, I still love you and always do. I still care for you. I am here for you if you need someone to talk to in the future. I want to see you happy. I will always pray for your happiness. For you and your family. And lastly, I will miss you always. Will always do.
I will leave soon. Yes. I'm leaving. :)
I really hate this kind of feeling.
All I want is just to sort things out with u. And settle things amicably. But u have been ignoring me for days. I do not like it if I am the one that has to keep calling and msging u but there isnt any reply from u. Dnt u feel irritated by my so many missed calls? If you do not want me anymore, just tell me off! And I promise I will try not to contact you again.
I knew it was my fault. I knew I shoudnt have just return those rings to u just like that. But I was totally shattered to hear those words from your sister. I couldnt take it anymore. Why must she interfere in our problem? Why cant we just settle it on our own?
I dnt like things hanging on just like this. Many people told me to ignore and not to call or msg u for the moment. But I cant! I cant take it if i didnt hear from you for a day. Yes. I admit that I cant live without u. I am not firm.
But I guess I have to adapt with it now. No matter how hurts my heart is.
But I do not want us to become enemies. Like how we got together nicely, I want it to end in a nice way.
But of course, deep in my heart, I do not want to let you go. But if letting it go solves the problem, I have no choice but to let you go.
I guess what Bibik said is true. "In life, everyone will once feel the loss of someone they truly love."
I guess I have to go through it now.
I am currently heartbroken and shattered.
I have been listening to Fazli Zainal's hit song "HARAPAN".
"Doaku agar kaukan selalu bahagia,
Agar kau temui insan tulus menyayangimu,
Lepaskanlah diriku kerna keredhaanmu,
Bukan kerna dendam jua bukan kerna kau terpaksa,
Ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu,
Kuundur diri bersama harapan.
Chorus :
Tidak kesampaian cinta kita,
Kubawa harapan kupendam rahsia,
Ku dikejauhan mendoakan,
Agar kau bahgia tiada lagi duka.
Daku rela mengundur diri,
Ku pasti dikaukan fahami …
Tiada penyesalan kasihku korbankan
Andai telah tertulis kuterima ini bukannya kupinta,
Oh pergilah dikau diiringi keikhlasanku,
Cuma pengalaman mengisi kekosongan mimpiku…"
It exactly describes what I feel now.
This song had been playing repeatedly in my mp3 since last night.
I cant sleep last night, so I finished up some work I brought home from the office.
I stayed up till 1.30am listening to the song while doing my work.
I cried.
I really do not know how all this happen. I really do not want this to happen. After what had happened the previous night, my heart bleed so much. Everything was so unexpected.
No doubt for whatever had happened, deep down, I still miss him alot like hell.
But I guess there is a reason for whatever had happened.
Ya Allah, please give me strength and guidance to the right path and so that I can make a wise decision.
P.S. Aisyah, please come back quick. Aku dah rindu kau. :(
I am so in love with this phone. The N95 8gb phone. So super classic. Can someone please buy this for me for my 22nd birthday present next month? ;)Weekend was great. Met with my girlfriend and watch Step Up 2. Super gerek lah the movie. Felt like dancing along in the movie theatre. And the guy is so super cute. Hehe. After that, met my aunts, uncle and my cousins for NHG Family Day at Escape Theme Park. It was super fun. I tried the viking three times and after dat I end up vomitting. Hahaha.I wanna go for a holiday. But I do not know where. Somewhere relaxing from these busy city. Will update more when I am back at my own home. Got no time to update nowadays cos there is no internet connection at my aunts place. 1 more day to weekends and have a great weekend! :)
